It is 6:54am. I know while writing a majority of other blog posts I have been up at an odd hour due to the fact that I couldn't sleep, Well this post is a little different. I actually just woke up! Yesterday was one of the best and longest days of my life... so long that I was able to actually get some sleep when I got home.

This week I have felt really, really good. The love and energy I have received from Facebook, on this blog, and from my gofundme campaign has really uplifted my spirits and really encouraged me to get up, get out, and continue living.  I have gained some weight and I have felt relatively strong... all things considered.

As good as I feel now though... I know it is all about to come to a halt. My doctors told me that this treatment was going to be a roller coaster ride in a sense that it is going to be filled with highs and lows, ups and downs. This upcoming week is going to be the beginning of a major downswing for me. I have chemotherapy on Tuesday morning... and if you read any of my previous blog posts you remember the reaction I had to chemotherapy the first time. It was all bad. It was hell. It was a 7 hour procedure that resulted in me being a zombie for pretty much a week. I am also entering my 4th week of radiation which has already started taking its toll, and which is going to continue to get worse.

With all of that being considered, I knew that this weekend was going to be the last weekend where I was going to be relatively normal until the conclusion of my treatment. With this in mind, my silent partner offered to do anything that I wanted to do that would make me happy this weekend. On Friday morning she asked me, "What can I do to make you happy? What do you want to do?" This is something that we have always discussed. It is really hard for me to be happy by doing something for myself. The only thing that really makes me happy that I do for myself is play basketball, and that it obviously off of the table for now. She has given me all of these psychological tests and told me that it is really important for me to find things that I like to do to make myself happy.

It is hard for me though. I am a giver. I have always been. I am the happiest when I see the people closest to me happy. I am happy when she is happy. I am happy when Maecee, Koi, the kids, and my mom are happy. I am happy when I see love. When I am in Walmart and I see a couple together shopping for microwaves and dish liquid, that makes me happy. When I see random acts of kindness, that makes me happy. When I see public displays of affection, that makes me happy. When I see families of parents and kids at Dorney Park or anywhere else smiling and having a good time, that really makes me happy. One of my favorite books is entitled "The Art of Loving" by Eric Fromm. He talks about this behavior and how it is completely normal to behave this way, so I don't feel bad for doing so. He also does state that it is important for one to seek direct happiness by doing things for themselves. Well... that is something that I will continue to work on.

When thinking about the offer my silent partner gave me, I stated that I wanted to do something with my family that makes them all happy. I wanted to spend a day with her, my mom, Maecee, Koi, Quron, and Cheese. I wanted to do something that made all of them happy, because again I am at my happiest when I see the closest people to me happy and enjoying themselves. There is NOTHING like seeing Maecee happy. There is NOTHING like seeing Koi happy. There is NOTHING like seeing my mom happy, especially after all of the pain and struggle that we went through together all of our lives. My silent partner DESERVES to be happy and do something for herself, since she is so selfless and has done so much for me. Cheese and Quron are my boys and have had to endure some difficult circumstances in their lives, so I LOVE when they are out experiencing things and having fun. Even though my silent partner wanted me to do something for me, she understood my point of view and agreed to let me plan a day of fun for the people in my life that I love. So we sat at the table that afternoon and planned a day of fun for the people I love. This is how it turned out...

Part One: Sky-zone

My daughter LOVES trampolines. There is an indoor trampoline park called Sky-zone that is about 5 minutes from the King of Prussia Mall. I took there a few times, and she loves it. There are trampolines that help you dunk, that let you jump into a foam pit, and that let you just free jump. It is a BLAST for people of all ages. If you haven't gone there I recommend it. Their website says they are building one in Allentown, but there is no more information other than that.

On Friday night I asked Koi, Maecee, my Mom, Cheese, Quron, and my silent partner if they wanted to go to Sky-zone. They all agreed. In my condition I obviously couldn't jump, but watching them jump and have fun would make me happy. My mom normally wouldn't jump, but she agreed to do so for me. I love her. The kids are jump crazy so I know they would be down to go. They would go anywhere with me.

So on Saturday morning we loaded up everyone into a van that my silent partner had access to, and headed to the Sky-zone in Pine Brook, NJ. That Sky-Zone is not the closest one to Allentown, but there is a specific reason why I wanted to go there. I will explain why in part two of this post. They had so much fun jumping! My mom was trying to dunk the basketball and it had me cracking up! My silent partner did a flip in to the foam pit and it was hilarious! The kids were all smiles, and it really made me happy. Like I said I couldn't jump, but watching them have fun and seeing the smiles on their faces made me feel like I was doing it myself. Here are some "highlights" I was able to capture below...

 Cheese flipping

Koi doing a 360 degree dunk

Maecee flip

Mom "Dunk"

Quron flip

It wasn't all good though! There were some bloopers! Ha! 

My mom could have been on a Sprite commercial! Haha! 

Group shot of all of us

I really enjoyed going to Sky-zone. Even though I couldn't jump I was able to observe the people I love most in the world have fun, which made me really really happy. I have every intention of beating cancer and being able to jump again though... believe that!

Part Two: Mitsuwa


For the next part of my day I wanted to do something for my silent partner. This person has done SO MUCH for me since I have known her and since I have been diagnosed with cancer. Like I said she has taken me to every appointment, organized my schedule and treatments, cooked me food, and so much more. I know she has to get tired, irritable, and worn down. She never shows it though.

My silent partner is hard to please. It is hard to make her happy in a sense that she doesn't care about material things, gifts, or many other forms of external stimulation. I LOVE that about her. If I would try to buy her a gift to show my gratitude or make her happy, she might like me less! I really wanted to do something for her. I really wanted to give her an experience that she would really enjoy.

As I stated before, my silent partner spent a lot of her life in Japan. She loves the culture, food, and everything about it. I know she misses it. Before I was sick we went to a Japanese grocery store and market in Edgewater, NJ called Mitsuwa. It is a cool little place that has authentic Japanese food, products, and a variety of other things. My silent partner is extremely even keeled, but she couldn't help but showing how giddy and happy she was the last time we went there. And since I am a pleaser and am happy when the people I love are happy, I wanted to give her that feeling again. Mitsuwa is only 30 minutes from the Sky-zone in Pine Brook NJ, so I decided to surprise her by telling her I wanted to go there. She was SO EXCITED! I needed that reaction. This woman does so much outwardly giving. She deserved to have something done for her. Here are some pictures...

This is the outside of the market

A lot of stuff is just in Japanese

Maecee loves these Japanese candy kits. If anyone has kids and they have Yummy Nummies, these kits are the Japanese version of those. We have ordered some from Japan before, and they usually take a few weeks to get here. Maecee was excited that we were able to pick up some in person. I got her two. 

Even signs in the store are in Japanese

Japanese Diapers

Japanese feminine products for that "authentic" Japanese feel... lol

Japanese tin foil

Japanese EVERYTHING

These two best friends/brothers and sister

The crew

This is what my silent partner ended up getting She was SO HAPPY and so excited to buy some crackers, candy, chocolate, juice, and chips. It's all about the little things with her <3

Below is me taking my methadone outside of the store. Cancer doesn't stop!!!

Directly behind Mitsuwa is the Hudson River, so we took a few pictures in front of it.

The trip to Mitsuwa went really well, and my silent partner was extremely happy. She was giddy, walking on her toes, and overflowing with positive emotion... all of which made me really, really happy!!! Success!!! 

Part three: NYC

I really love Quron. Quron has had it rough growing up. His father went to jail when he was very young. He is currently doing 34 years in Federal Prison. Being around Quron via Koi, I have kind of taken the role of father figure on for him. He is really my daughters best friend. They draw together, go to the park together, and do pretty much everything together. One of the reasons I like Quron being around my daughter is because he loves culture, history, and has appreciation for the arts. Quron loves New York City. He plays the game Mindcraft. His Mindcraft is absolutely amazing. He literally built the entire New York City brick by brick on his Mindcraft. He sits there and plays it all day and all night, so when I say literally the entire NYC, I mean LITERALLY THE ENTIRE NYC. When he goes to my house he draws the World Trade Center, Times Square, and Statue of Liberty all of the time. He is on YouTube looking up how they were built, why they were built, and all kinds of other information about it. He has a healthy obsession for it which I really enjoy. 

With that being said, I figured I would offer Quron a surprise little visit to NYC. Since we were already in Edgewater, NJ and right across the Hudson River, it would be a quick trip. I felt like Quron would appreciate walking around Central Park and Times Square for a little while. Seeing that would also make me really happy. He has also been BEGGING me to take him to the Toys R US in Times Square to see some Lego exhibit. I know my mom, silent partner, and everyone else would like walking around NYC too, so they would get to benefit as well. So that is what we did. We left Mitsuwa and made a quick trip to the city. 

This is how are car trips sound by the way... 

I love those kids. 

Anyway... we got to the city and decided to walk around Central Park first. Here are some pictures... 

After walking around Central Park for a while, I wanted to take Quron to Times Square. Here he was when we arrived... 

The video doesn't quite capture how excited he was... but his eyes were wide the whole time. It made me feel good. More pics from the Toys R Us... 

Selfie... lol

Us in Times Square. Everyone looks tired here EXCEPT for Quron, so I knew it was time to go home. It was well worth it for me to see him happy though... 

More singing in the car. Slowing it down... lol

The inevitable crash... 

After a long day, we all made it home safe and sound. The day was an absolute  success. Everyone had fun at Skyzone. My silent partner enjoyed Mitsuwa. Everyone enjoyed walking around the city. I got to see LOVE and see pure JOY on the faces of the people that I love most in this world. That is why I live. That is what makes me most happy in this world, and that is what my life is all about. Things are about to get tough for me, but I am living in the present. I really, really enjoyed my day. I will get through this treatment, beat this cancer, and continue to live my life. Days like this are why I am going to fight to get better and fight to keep living. I hope you enjoyed watching my day too. LOVE. 

-Kyle

www.kylekostic.blogspot.com

www.gofundme.com/kylekostic