It is Monday, February 27, 2017, at 5:57 PM CST. I am sitting at the kitchen table.

When I was preparing for this trip, I knew that there were going to be a few challenges that I would have to face along the way.

For example, my daughter LOVES her mother. I knew that even though we would be out and about in the world having a good time, my daughter would eventually miss her mom. I did not want to turn around, have to fly her back, or have to do anything else outrageous.

Enter this woman...

The woman pictured above is my daughters grandmother. Her name is Cathy, She is pictured with her husband, my daughters grandfather. His name is Kike. I couldn't think of a better person to alleviate any anxiety my daughter may have had due to being away from home than her grandmother.

About a year ago, my daughters grandparents moved to Arlington, TX. They did a great job raising six wonderful children that have now become admirable young adults. Since all of the children have left home, Maecee's grandparents decided to migrate south.

Now even though Arlington is a beautiful area, they too get homesick. They are used to a house with a lot of family, a lot of activity, and a lot going on in it. Keeping that information in mind, I figured that this visit would mutually benefit my daughters grandparents just as much as it would benefit my daughter.

I wanted this visit to be a surprise. You cannot just surprise people in their home though. So a day before we arrived, I had my daughters mother reach out to my daughters grandmother and let her know we would be coming. Here is what happened when we arrived...

That is love. Honestly for me, there is no joy in this world like actually seeing love.

There have been so many examples of love that I have seen on this experience. He is another...

---

This is Lou.

Lou moved to Fort Worth(the city adjacent to Arlington) with her family a few years ago. While I knew her during her time in Allentown... we never really spoke. It was mostly just "hi and bye."

Once I began blogging, Lou became one of the readers. She enjoyed it. In one of my blog posts I advised the readers that if anyone ever wanted to talk, vent, or anything else.. they could always reach out to me.

One night while I was at home wide awake doing nothing at 3 am, Lou did indeed reach out to me. We had a conversation. She did not really have any issues or anything... she just wanted to talk. We sent messages back and forth for a few hours. We had other conversations on other days. She was cool, and we became friends.

When I arrived in Arlington, I reached out to Lou to let her know that I was in town. Lou is extremely artsy and eclectic, so I wanted Lou to show me that part of town.

On the morning after we arrived in Arlington, I invited Lou to Cathy's house. As I mentioned earlier, Lou moved to Texas with her family. Her mother was also in town. I know her mother, so I invited her mother over to the house too. You remember her mother. She is the woman in this picture in my previous blog post...

Come to find out, Lou and her mother had not spoken in over a year. Lou ended up moving in with her boyfriend.  A mother and daughter ultimately went their separate ways. When I found this out, I knew having them come over at the same time was the right thing to do.

It is so weird how these things end. You think things are going to go one way, but they end up going the complete opposite direction.

Lou got to the house first. We hugged, welcomed each other, caught up, etc. etc.

A few minutes later, her mother showed up. Uh oh.

As soon as Louisa stepped through that door, she walked directly toward her daughter and gave her a hug. Lou embraced her mother with just as much affection as her mother did her. Whatever they were at odds over did not matter in that moment. Love brought them back together.

Anyway... I was going to capture the moment on film, but I kind of got caught up in it. I just wanted to let it happen. I was a beautiful site to see.

---

After hanging out for a while, Lou and her younger sister took my son and me to Forth Worth. We were going to meet her boyfriend, go out to eat, and go to an art show. Here is a photo of us...

Lous's boyfriends name is Lee. He is really nice, and I am very happy I was able to meet him. We ate at a restaurant named Spiral, which was a delicious vegan restaurant. We then ended up at an Art Gallery, where Lou's friend was having an exhibit.

This is Lou's friend. Meet Dontrius "Donnie" Williams.

Donnie is a photographer. His work was being displayed in a gallery in Ft. Worth. Here is a flyer for the event...

There are a few reasons I wanted to go to the event. For one, I love art. It is that simple. Secondly, I wanted my son to attend the show and meet the artist. My son takes pictures and posts them on his blog, as I had mentioned in a previous post. I wanted him to see how that can be taken to the next level. Thirdly, I wanted to pick the brain of the artist as well. 

Here is some of his work... 

My son liked the show too. He actually loved it. They served beverages. They had a DJ and people were dancing. There were a lot of young and artsy people just intermingling and having a good time. Here is a video...

Pictures...

 Koi taking pictures of the art

Here is a picture of Koi and Donnie. This conversation was very important to me. This is an educational experience. If you have a goal in life... who better to talk to than the person doing exactly what you want to do? Koi told me that Donnie dropped some gems on him. It was greatly appreciated.

I was thankful to have the opportunity to have some one on one time with Donnie too. He is a really nice guy. He is a TRUE artist. Our conversation was extremely insightful to me and I am grateful for it.

Here is a picture of us...

While in mid conversation, he subconsciously slipped into artist mode. He told me not to move. He pulled out his camera, focused the lens, and took two pictures of me. He then put his camera down, and acted like it never happened. I honestly don't even know if he realized what he did. It was extremely interesting to see an artist in their zone.

For the most part, Arlington was all about family. There was one non-family related activity that I really wanted to do while I was in Arlington though. That activity was to tour AT&T Stadium, home of the Dallas Cowboys.

This may surprise a lot of people, but I am not a big fan of football and I am not particularly a Cowboys fan(even though I do like some of their young players). What I am a fan of though is IMAGINATION... and that is what AT&T Stadium represents.

AT&T stadium is the reality of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones wildest dream. The place is unbelievable. Every luxury that a person can imagine is located in that facility. The stadium holds just about every record in every statistical category when it comes to being grandiose.

I wanted my children to understand that this amazing stadium was at one point just an idea. A person just like them took that idea and made it into a thing. I want my children to understand that they too can come up with an idea as grandiose as possible, and if they truly believe in it and constantly strive towards making it a reality... it can be achieved. Here are some pictures...

I got Jules a keychain

We also made some videos... 

My kids and mom think this is funny. Well at least the end... 

We really enjoyed our time in Arlington. There is SO MUCH MORE TO THIS. I have so much content for a "real" all encompassing documentary eventually. I did want to tell one more story about Arlington.

---

My daughters grandmother and I did not always get along. We always loved each other, but there were times where we went at it. There were also times where we got personal, were disrespectful to each other, and at times crossed the line.

Our main issue was religion and spirituality. My daughters grandmother has a strong belief in GOD, while I spent the majority of my life an atheist. We have sat across from each other at many tables, have debated for many hours, over the course of many years.

While in Arlington, I wanted to talk to my daughters grandmother about GOD. I wanted to tell her I was sorry. I also wanted to let her know that I was wrong, and that I have come to a revelation. I now believe in a "GOD."

Rewind back to 1988. I was 8 years old. I can remember the EXACT moment I realized I was going to die. It was the middle of the night. It was dark. I was crying. I was scared. I remember my blanket. Ever since that moment I have studied religion. Ever since that moment I was attempting to figure out why I was here. I honestly feel like it may have contributed to me getting sick. I was fixated on it. I could not let it go.

Ever since then I studied science. I studied math. I studied numerology, metaphysics, and everything else in between. Something had to eventually make sense.

After 28 years of research, study, and inquisition... I have changed my stance. I believe in "GOD" in the form of "Intelligent Design." I believe that we have a creator. I believe it. That is were I am at as of right now. The reason for me coming to this revelation is truly too complex for me to explain in this setting.

Do we have free will? Will there be an afterlife? Do we have a purpose? I am still attempting to answer those questions. But I wholeheartedly believe that humanity was created.

I can't believe I just wrote that. Everyone that I have told this to did not believe that I said it either. If you know me, I am pretty sure that you cannot believe that you just read this too.

So that is it. Our time in Arlington is complete. This stop was a success. I ave a bunch of pictures, but I wanted to end this with just one...

Look at their faces. That is pure joy. That is love. 

Like I stated in the beginning of the post, I knew a few challenges would arise on this experience. My daughter definitely did miss her mother. The visit with her grandmother was extremely beneficial to everyone involved. My daughter was relaxed. She told me that she was ready to continue. My daughters grandmother was happy. That plan worked.

As we were leaving Arlington, a new challenge that I knew was going to arise began to occur. I began to get homesick too. I knew there was only one way I was going to resolve this issue. The answer to that problem is in video form...

;-)

Much more coming soon. LOVE.

It is Saturday, February 25, 2017 at 4:05pm EST. I am sitting at the kitchen table. More on that later.

After leaving Washington D.C., we continued to head South. Again, this experience is not just us aimlessly driving around the country doing random things. I want every stop and every experience to have a purpose.

Last week my son went with his cousin and his family to Atlanta, GA. They visited the home of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, the Coca Cola museum, and did a number of other activities. Here is a picture...

The man to the far right in this picture is named Khalfani. Khalfani is the father of my sons cousin, Khafani Jr, Khalfani the third, or Khalfani whatever he is. His son and my son are like brothers. The trip was his idea. He took a total of 10 children, and his child's mother. 

For most of my life, I did not like Khalfani. I actually hated him. When I was in high school and shortly after, he and his family had an issue with my friends. To be quite honest, I am not even sure what the issue was about. I had nothing to do with it. Despite any of that, I am extremely loyal and I was siding with my friends no matter what.

I even went as far as to talk about this man in my book. I stated that he was always in and out of jail. I stated that he did not take care of his children. I did not care, because again I did not like him and I was always ready for whatever. 

I couldn't have been any more wrong and out of line though. I had no idea what circumstances that man came from. When faced with difficult situations, no options, and no hope...  humans are led to do things that may be illegal in order to survive. Is it immoral for a woman who has been denied disability, housing, child support, and food stamps to go to a grocery store to steal food for her family? I know in my past I have broken the law when I was in survival mode. I was JUST LIKE THIS MAN. The only difference between him and I is that I did not get caught. And I had the nerve to talk about him? I was wrong. For that, I wanted to say that I am truly sorry. 

I wrote that book about 8 years ago. Since then, Khalfani's story has been a story of redemption. He got out of prison and got his life together. He now does legitimate work. He is humble enough to do stupid stuff like sleep outside of stores to resell items. He coupons. He resells vehicles. He does a lot of stupid little odd jobs that "established" people would not do. He also gives other people who have come home from prison opportunities to work for him. 

Will him and I ever have dinner together? Probably not. Do I think his Facebook name is corny? Absolutely. Despite any of that, that man and I are civil. For 20 years I was harboring hate for no reason. He does a great job of keeping families happy and together. I see numerous examples of it all the time. Here are some... 

So again with all of that being said, I hope Khalfani will accept my apology. I wanted him to know that I feel like your story is admirable and should be recognized, which is why I decided to share it. I always wanted others to know that it is stupid to harbor hate. 

Peace and Love.

---

So on Monday I knew I would be headed to Atlanta, but I wouldn't be there until Wednesday. My son was leaving Monday. What was I going to do? Enter this man... 

This mans name is Christopher Wallace. Yes, he has the same name as the rapper. He is no rapper though. If you are from my hometown you do not know him, but he is my brother. 

I found out who he was at around the same time I found out who my father was... which was about 9 years ago. Since our very first conversation we hit it off. We spoke for about an hour, but it felt like it was five minutes. 

Over the years my brother and I have developed a great relationship. He is truly my big brother. Throughout my life I was always the man of the house. I never had a dad, big brother, or anything like that. I mean I had mentors, but nobody that was ever constant. My brother really humbles me. His knowledge is so vast. His perspective and insight on everything is eye opening. His wisdom is amazing. He really sits me down and schools me. I love it. I never knew how much I needed it until I had it. I guess that is kind of like having a dad. More on that later. 

Anyway... my brother lives in the Atlanta area. When I told my brother my son was in town and that I was planning on picking him up in a few days, he dropped everything he was doing and went and picked him up. He let him stay with him. He cleared his calendar and showed my son around Atlanta. And when I say cleared his calendar... that is no small thing. My brother has many jobs, one being a background singer for a band entitled "The Heavy." My brother has performed at Coachella, in Madison Square Garden, on Conan(see photo above), and at pretty much every other major venue and city in the world. Him clearing his calendar for my son meant a lot to me. 

Maecee and I arrived in Atlanta on Wednesday night. We met with my son and my brother. My brother gave us a true look at Atlanta from the perspective of someone from the city. I was greatly appreciative of that. He showed my children the campuses of Morehouse, Clark-Atlanta, and Spelman. We ate at great food at a local spot. We had great conversation. I really love my brother, and I am thankful that the world brought us together. Here is a picture of everyone... 

My son's name is Koi Anthonie Kostic. He is 19 years old. I had him when I was 16 years old. You don't need to say anything... I already know. 

As far as his name? I don't have any profound story like I did with Maecee. I really just liked the look of the name Koi. "Koi" are Japanese fish. They are beautiful. That was... pretty much it. But then something happened. 

As I became a man, I started to grow. I fell in love with water. I am FASCINATED with water. Water is extremely weird. Here are some quick facts...  

-Water is the most common substance on Earth

-Every living species on Earth comes from water and needs water to grow

-The human body is 70-95 percent water... as is the Earth

-Water is the only element that can exist in 3 states: Liquid, Solid, Gas. That means water can literally be ANYWHERE

-It is the only element that expands when it freezes, but contracts when it heats. Every other element on the planet does the opposite. Modern science cannot explain this. 

These are just a FEW of MANY interesting facts about water. 

I always started to fall in love with color. I mean we never really think about color... but damn isn't color beautiful? I mean It is really simple, but it is beautiful.

One day when it came to my son Koi, it all made sense. There was a reason that I named him Koi. If you know my son Koi you know that he is extremely interesting, kind of like the water that the Koi fish live in. Both water and my son are pretty unique... and both very mysterious. 

My son Koi is quiet. He is an introvert. He isn't reallt expressive at all. He once drove with me in the car and smashed a car mirror off of another car and did not move a muscle. He didn't even look in the direction. it was like it never happened. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen. 

But when my son expresses himself, it is a beautiful thing. One day out of the blue, he told me he had a blog. When I looked at this thing, my mind was completely blown. This blog was BEAUTIFUL. The photography was amazing. he did some writing, and it was extremely expressive. I could not believe it. 

Koi fish are also very beautiful, just like my son. Physically, he is extremely handsome. Much beyond and much more important than that, he is extremely beautiful on the inside. He has such a good heart. He is such a good big brother. He looks after everyone. He is such a great son. He is a mothers boy, and he takes care of his mommy. He loves his girlfriend, ex, or whatever she is today. And when he expresses himself... it is a beautiful thing. 

My son Koi is extremely mysterious, just like most introverts and just like the habitat that Koi fish exist in. My son Koi is beautiful on the inside and out, just like the body of a Koi fish. My son has the most laid back personality. He just kind of goes with the flow... kind of like how a fish would do. 

My son is a Koi fish. My son evolved into his name. 

Since I was meeting my son Koi in Atlanta, the first thing I wanted to do was go to the aquarium! We stayed directly across the street from the Georgia Aquarium. We could actually see the Georgia Dome from our room. 

If you want to see some more pictures our time in Atlanta, Please visit the blog. We are with family now, and we do not have time to do too long of a video. Talk to you soon. 

Here are some pictures of all of us at the aquarium... 

Penguins

Look at their faces. Did I make the right decision? 

We then visited Centennial Park. Centennial Park is where a bunch of festivities and events for the 1996 Olympic Games were held The park is literally connected to the aquarium. The park is beautiful. It is so peaceful. There is water. Here are some pictures... 

Help. 

Here is a video I made of them in the park... 

We really enjoyed our time there. We just relaxed. I meditated for like 10 minutes It was like 75 degrees. It was thee perfect day.

I have to interrupt the story. Where I am writing this, people are talking about coincidence. This woman(more on her later) said that GOD did not allow a whale to swallow Jonah just "because." (I do not know this story by the way). She then said that the whale did not just throw Jonah up "just because." She then told me the entire story of Jonah... as I am sitting here talking about water, fish, and an aquarium. Hmm. Here is a picture of her...

Back to the story...

After the park we visited the CNN building... which again was close enough to see from our hotel.

After spending some time in the CNN building, we went to the Ferris Wheel. On the Ferris Wheel, we found a surprise. Watch this video. It has both a surprise and is hilarious...

You remember Maria right? Here is her picture...

Like I stated in my previous post, I wanted Maecee to understand that she had the ability to do whatever she wanted to do in this world. Taking her to Washington D.C. would give her the let her see visual examples of people who believed what I was attempting to instill in her. 

I did not want to stop there though. 

Enter Maria. 

Maria was the high school classmate who went to Egypt with me. She is the young woman who grew up poor on 6th and Turner in Allentown PA. She is the woman who defied the odds, chased her dreams, and reached her goal of becoming a scientist. I feel like the visual examples of success at the museum were cool... but actually experiencing success in person takes it to the next level. Since Maria works in Atlanta, she decided to stop by and say hello to my daughter. Hopefully my daughter can pick her brain and learn something new.  

I did not want to stop there though. 

Enter Jess. 

Jess is on the left

Professional Jess

Jess is my longtime friend from back home too. Jess played college basketball, flag football, and even played pickup basketball with the men. That is just the beginning when it comes to Jess. Jess is a successful businesswoman. She has a beautiful loft in Downtown Philadelphia, and is doing very well in her career. She comes to Atlanta every once in a while to meet with friends, so since she knew I was in town. She was kind enough to talk to my daughter as well. Maecee has an interest in basketball. I wanted Jess to take some time and let her know what it is like playing basketball at a very high level. I also want her to explain how she used her ability to play basketball to earn herself the college scholarship that would eventually lead to her getting the job that she has now. Again, hopefully my daughter can learn something new. Here is a picture of all of us hanging out in the hotel room... 

There is SOOOOOOO much more I could say about Atlanta. I have so many stories and so many more pictures and videos I could post, but for the sake of time I won't. When I do the real legit documentary, I will add all of that content. I just wanted to add a quick video... 

This is is picture Maecee and Koi at some arcade I took them too. Look at them bonding. They have been following each other around the whole time. They were chasing each other around the hotel room throwing toilet paper at each other. They are having interesting conversations. It is beautiful to see. They are separated by 8 years and they have different mothers. While they are cool and they love each other, they are not as close as I would like them to be. I feel like this trip is already bringing them closer together. 

So that is all for now. This is just the beginning. I have so much more planned, so stay tuned. 

Love

:-)

Press play if you would like. If not, scroll down...


IMG 4062 from kyle kostic on Vimeo.

My name is Kyle Kostic. Hear me out.

It is Thursday 8:01am. We will talk about where I am at later. If you are following me on social media, you already know where I am. If you are reading this in book form or even follow just the blog, you have no idea what is going on. Stay with me.

My daughters name is Maecee Lani Kostic. When her mother and I were picking her name, we wanted to give her something that was beautiful and loving. We came up with Maecee Lani. Her first and middle names just feel good. They look good too.

We also wanted to give her something with purpose.  As a history lover, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was one of my favorite historical figures. I really like the fact that he pushed a message of peace and love. History usually leaves out the fact that Dr. King was not opposed to using physical force against his oppressors. It was actually the revelation of his true feelings that led to his assassination.

I wanted my daughter to have the qualities of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. That is why her initials are MLK. I wanted her to spread a message of peace and love. I also wanted her to be strong, have the ability to stand up for herself, and fight for what is right when necessary.

Eleven years later, my daughter has taken on the qualities of Dr. King. She is so loving. She is so gentle and peaceful. She has the kindest heart ever. She asked me if I was hungry or thirsty and checked on me 50 times today. She is sitting next to me in real time. Another example of how media in 2017 is pretty cool...

Do not let her kindness fool you though. Just like Dr. King, she will stand up for herself and stand up for what is right. Her personality is the perfect balance, just like her name. She is both linear and abstract.

When I took her out of school to go on this trip, I didn't do so with the intention of taking her to Disneyland 15 times, visiting arcades, and going to eat ice cream every night. Everything I do has to have a purpose. I have to be extremely efficient with my time.

Now I am not going to have her write book reports in the back of the car for the entire trip or anything. We are definitely going to have fun. Fun can be purposeful too. We need to have balance. Balance is one of the major keys to life.

On our first stop of the our trip, I wanted Maecee to visit Washington D.C. I wanted her to see history. Not only did I want her to know about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., I wanted her to see the other historical attractions the city had to offer.

Here are some pictures...

National Museum of African American History and Culture. We were there the same day that our President visited the museum. We did not see him. 

 Washington Monument

White House

...

It is important for my daughter to know that great things were done by ordinary people, just like her. I want her to feel like she can accomplish anything. It just takes hard work and practice. An example that I always like was from Jim Valvano, the North Carolina State basketball coach who died of cancer. in 1993. After a hard practice, he would have his players practice cut down the nets in an empty gym. He wanted them to simulate the entire experience. He wanted them to will it to be. His underdog 1983 team would end up winning the NCAA championship, and would cut down those next, just like they practiced. 

Along with hard work and practice, I wanted her to know that doing great things takes bravery. All of the people we saw in the museum were brave, lived on the edge, followed their dreams, and created something beautiful. Dr. King stood up for the civil rights of a race of people in the face of imminent death. George Washington took on world power Great Britain in this countries fight for independence. Kyle Kostic was brave enough to express himself and write 3 books. It wanted her to understand she has that same blood running through her veins.

I wanted my daughter to simulate great experiences too. While I was in Rome, I stood where Julius Cesar stood. When I was in Egypt, I sat where Malcolm X sat. I wanted my daughter to practice those things too.

Here is a picture of "MLK" standing where MLK gave the "I Have a Dream" speech. 

MLK and MLK

Even after doing all of this, I wanted her to know that this route was only one option. If being in a museum or even becoming possibly becoming president was her goal and that would make her happy, there are no limits. I wanted to make sure she understood that if she wanted to make slime all day but was happy and was good to other people, that is a life well lived too No pressure. 

My favorite part of D.C.? The conversation. I really love my child. She is so neat. She so inquisitive. We saw uniformed Secret Service members, and she asked me... "How does a person even become a Secret Service Officer." I want her to ask these questions. If she asks these questions, it is an indicator that she understands that it is possible for her to become that or whatever else she wants. To be honest, I didn't think it was possible to be a Secret Service Agent when I was 11 years old. I didn't even know what a Secret Service Agent was. I am glad I found out what an author was though. 

We took our time in D.C. We are in no rush. I am not pushing it. A lot people are worried about me running myself into the ground. I PROMISE you, I have NEVER felt better. I have never felt so ALIVE. If I were at home right now "recovering," I would just be home alone all day. I would be waiting for Maecee to get out school. I would be waiting for Abby to get off work. I would stare at the walls I stared at when I couldn't get out of bed after chemotherapy. I would look at the floor that I looked at when I threw methadone up on every day. I would sit in the bathroom where I had horrible constipation. My home has become a stimulus. I cannot sleep there anymore. We are actively looking to move.

When I though about this, I really questioned my motivation to travel. I went to Vegas as soon as I could eat. As soon as I could get on a plane I went to Rome. I have cancer in Allentown. To a random person outside of Allentown, I am normal. I know people question me about my health at home because they care, but I don't really like talking about cancer all of the time. It is depressing. Was me travelling really me running away from Allentown in an attempt to run away from cancer? 

After thinking about it, I am not travelling because I am running away from cancer. I am travelling because it is part of my dream. My dream is going to come true. I am going to have traveled the world and written not one, but two books about it. Allentown is my home, and I am never going to run away from it. Everyone and everything I love is in Allentown. I want to come home and live a normal life,. I want to go back to work, pick my child up from school every day, and continue to help everyone I love attempt to achieve their dreams for the next 100 years. But cancer... shit I am going to run away from it if I can. 

But like I said, we are taking our time. I am not driving when it is dark. I am not driving for long periods of time. I am constantly eating my baby food, drinking water, and taking my medication (it does not make me drowsy and I am clear to drive by the way). If I get tired, I stop. We will be where I am at for a few days right now, so I will be ready when it is time to leave.  I am chilling. I am not even reading my own post right now. This trip has already done so much for me mentally. I feel free. I feel like I have a purpose. 

Our drives are long though. As we do with everything else, we make the best of it. We actually have FUN! My daughter is so fun to be with. She never complains. Our conversations are always interesting and engaging. She is a great road trip companion. 

We do this too... 

Untitled from kyle kostic on Vimeo.

If you are watching this in documentary form or reading this in book form, you can go to the blog and view my daughter and I making a video in it's entirety. If you are consuming this art via the blog, you are already at the right place.

That is all for now. We have a fun day ahead. Talk to you soon.

Love