Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Why

Why:

-Kyle Kostic
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Context
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I didn't want to write a book about cancer.

My life literally depended on it.

I didn't want to attempt to try to cure cancer.

My life literally depended on it.

Everything I say below is with the intention of providing context.

I am supplying information that can be validated.

I am not supplying this information with the intention of sounding self-absorbed.

Everything I say below is with the intention of giving myself credibility.
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As a 4-year-old boy, my elementary school guidance counsellor wanted me to skip kindergarten and go directly into the 2nd grade.

I was given a few entry-level intelligence tests, and the results indicated that I was gifted.

I earned my Bachelors Degree in Psychology at 33 years old.

I earned just about a 4.0 in my major.
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While in college, I took the Wechsler Adult Intelligence (WAIS IV) IQ test.

This test is the most widely used method of measuring intelligence in adults.

I earned a very high score.

With all of those things considered, it is fair to say that my childhood intelligence level, college performance, and adult intelligence measurements indicate that I am a relatively smart individual.
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In 2010 I self published a book entitled "A Collection of our Thoughts."

The book was a collection of essays that expressed a variety of my feelings in a variety of ways from a variety of different perspectives.

Some of the essays were linear.

Some of the essays were abstract.
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The book was used in the juvenile prison I worked at as motivational reading material.

The book was also used as part of high school curriculum.

The book received positive press from a variety of sources.

The book was well received by everyone who read it.
The children in the prison that I worked at often told me how my book inspired them.
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I was the commencement speaker at the graduation of the high school that used my book as part of their curriculum. Those students also told me that my book inspired them.

I did a few radio shows and a few interviews in reference to that book. My college alma mater wrote an article on their website centered around my book when I graduated.

I received an abundance of correspondence from a variety of different people telling me how they connected with a variety of the experiences I shared in my book.
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As part of the One book One Campus program at East Stroudsburg University my senior year, each student was encouraged to read the same book.

At the end of the year, each student was encouraged to enter a writing contest in reference to that same book. The objective of the contest was for the students to apply their own life experiences to the theme of the book.

I entered the contest. I won.

With all of those things considered, it is fair to say that my previous work indicates that I am a pretty good writer.
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I played football when I was young.

I started out playing offensive and defensive line.

I was arguably one of the toughest kids on the team.

Playing on the line helped me develop strength.
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As I got older, my athleticism increased.

I became a running back.

I became arguably one of the best running backs in the area.

Playing running back helped me develop creativity.
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As I got even older, my height increased.

I became a quarterback.

I was arguably one of the best quarterbacks in the area when I was in high school.

Playing quarterback helped me develop into a leader.

I also played basketball.

Basketball is the combination of the linear and the abstract.

The game is practiced in a mostly linear fashion.

The game is played in both a linear and abstract way.
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There were times when the linear approach worked, and times when the abstract approach worked.

As a person who handled the basketball a lot, I often had to make the choice of taking the more linear or more abstract approach.

More times than not, I made the right choice.

Consistently making the right mental choices while simultaneously having collegiate level athleticism eventually earned me a partial college scholarship to play basketball at the Division 2 level.
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My success playing sports demonstrated my ability to make good mental and physical decisions in a relatively short period of time.

My success playing football and baseball demonstrated my ability to use a wide range of both abstract and linear principles.

My success playing basketball demonstrated my ability to use the combination of both abstract and linear principles.

With all of those things considered, it is fair to say that my athletic history has demonstrated my ability to be durable, linear, and abstract.
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When I entered college out of high school, my major was history.

I wanted to learn about culture, society, and the world.

Even though I was I loved history itself, I didn't really like school.

I dropped out of college after my junior year.
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I got a job.

I accepted an entry-level position doing customer service at a cell phone company. I quickly transitioned into technical support.

I got promoted 4 times in 9 years. I was consistently a top performer.

I accepted a severance package when the company I worked for consolidated their operations and closed the site I was based out of.


My success in the customer service/tech support role demonstrated my ability to successfully fix issues by using both a linear and abstract approach.
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I had to listen to an abstract explanation of the issue by the customer, conceptualize their problem, and then resolve their issue by using a documented linear solution.

If there was a problem that had no documented linear solution, I had the flexibility to take an abstract approach in an attempt to find, test, and create a new linear solution.

With all of those things considered, it is fair to say that my history working in customer service and technical support developed me into a person who can come up with creative solutions to a variety of issues.
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When I re-enrolled in college in 2012, I chose psychology as my major.

When I originally enrolled in college out of high school, I chose history as my major.

I chose history out of high school because I wanted to learn about culture, society, and the world.

As an adult I chose psychology because I understood that in order to learn about culture, society, and the world at their deepest levels, I first had to learn about humans and their behavior at their deepest level.

This way of thought also applied to my cancer.

In order to heal, I had to understand why I got sick.

In order to cure my cancer, I had to understand why I got cancer.

I had to learn about cancer at the absolute deepest level in an effort to reverse engineer the process and attempt to cure myself.
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Stage IV Cancer was my original prognosis.

Chemotherapy and radiation failed.

The cancer metastasized to my lung and throughout my bloodstream.

I was given a terminal diagnosis.
After letting my circumstances digest, I changed the perspective of my circumstances.

Even though I didn't want to write a book about cancer, I now had the opportunity to.

Even though I didn't want to attempt to try to cure cancer, I now had the opportunity to.

After letting my circumstances digest, I let the perspective of my circumstances challenge, motivate, and empower me.
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This is why my elementary school guidance counselor wanted me to skip kindergarten and the 1st grade.

This is why my mother and I were given free food from the food bank.

This is why I was in a program for at risk children with potential in high school.

This is why I graduated from college.

Our purpose as humans is to synthesize old information with new information, in an attempt to create new information that will improve, sustain, and lengthen the lives of future generations.

Today humanity has more information, tools, and technology than at any point in human history.

With all of these resources at humanities disposal, humanity should be curing cancer at this point in human history.
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This experience has serendipitously become my purpose, and simultaneously become my attempt at making history. 

This book is the culmination of my cancer journey, and the culmination of my old life.

I want the world to use my experience in an effort to both heal and prevent people from feeling the pain that I felt during this cancer journey.

I whole-heartedly believe that this method provides other people who were in my situation both emotionally and physically with a legitimate option.

I was tough enough to endure this regimen.

I was disciplined enough to document the duration of this experience.

I was knowledgeable enough to conceptualize, synthesize, and articulate my experiences.

I was desperate enough to try literally anything in an attempt to heal.
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You don’t have to be a doctor, psychologist, or shaman to understand the information I present in this book.

I made this book as short and as easy to read as possible

I wanted the conceptualization of this method to be as short, clear, and concise as possible.

Anyone with a relatively basic level of comprehension skills should have the ability to understand this information.
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If you are a doctor, psychologist, or shaman and you do understand this information, I can go into more detail about the information and experiences I provide.

When I was diagnosed in 2015, I had no choice but to become a subject matter expert in reference to anything and everything that pertained to cancer.

All of my time was spent using my resources to acquire analyze, and synthesize information in an effort to save my own life.

If you are a doctor, psychologist, or shaman and want me to elaborate on anything I mention in this book, I feel like I have the ability to do so at your level of comprehension.
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You do not have to be a doctor, psychologist, or shaman to interpret my results.

I was literally in the worst physical shape of my life during my cancer treatment.

I was given a terminal diagnosis

Today I am in no pain, I have no symptoms, and I am in literally the best shape of my life.

In October of 2015, I remember sitting in my at my kitchen table in the middle of the night.

I was looking down at a feeding tube that was surgically inserted in my stomach.

I couldn’t eat, drink, or sleep because my body was in so much pain.

That is the moment when things got real.
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I had endured a lot in my life up until that point.

I endured not having a father, growing up in poverty, and becoming a teen parent myself.

While enduring those challenges was empowering, this was different.

This was cancer.

I had all of the resources of the history of the world at my disposal.

I had the mental, physical, and creative capacity to make something happen.

I had the fight of my life on my hands.

I also had some extremely powerful sources of inspiration at my disposal.
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Koi, you make me proud.

You are a high school graduate, a great big brother, and a respectful young man.

You are a great athlete, handsome young man, and an overall great person.

You are everything I ever wanted to be, and the son I always wanted.
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Maecee, you are my heart.

You gave me a love that I never knew existed.

Even though I am your father, it was you that gave me life.

You are the daughter I always wanted.
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An abundance of other people collectively got me through this journey.

I was homeless. I was hungry.

I was broke. I was alone.

An abundance of people collectively helped me through some very tough times.
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To all of the people who sent me a random text, gave me a spontaneous call, or showed me heartfelt love…

Thank you <3
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In October of 2015, I was laying in my bed.

I had a feeding tube in my stomach. My throat was black on the outside and inside due to the effect of the radiation treatment.

I was extremely depressed. I had an extreme amount of anxiety. I was losing my mind.

I was dying.

Every day felt like a living hell.

I wasn’t getting better.

I was getting worse.

I wanted to give up.
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I was extremely suicidal.

I had a plan.

I had too much pain.

I felt like it was the only option.

Up until that point in my life, I was an atheist.

On that morning, I got on my knees and prayed.

I was crying.

I begged GOD to show compassion, to give me a chance, or at least help me understand my purpose in life.
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GOD eventually showed compassion.

GOD eventually gave me a chance. 

GOD eventually helped me understand my purpose.

GOD eventually helped me understand it.

I am no longer an atheist.

I still pray.

I still cry.

I still believe.
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I am just a vessel.

GOD is the energy inside of me. GOD is the energy inside of you.

Our bodies just process that energy.

While my name is on the book, this is really GOD’s work.
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Everything I said above was with the intention of providing context.

All of the information can be validated.

The information was not supplied with the intention of sounding self-absorbed.

All of the information supplied was with the intention of showing my credibility.

My goal in life was not to write a book about cancer

The context I provided above articulated why I wrote this book.

My goal in life was not to attempt to cure cancer.

This book was the articulation of how I did it.

Monday, April 16, 2018

The CURE

THE  CURE

-Kyle Kostic 
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For most of my life, I lived in a state of dualism.

Duality is defined as:

The state of being dual or consisting of two parts; division into two.

For most of my life, the person known as Kyle Kostic was actually comprised of two different people.
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The first me was the voice in my head.

The second me was the personality I presented to the world.

The voice in my head was my internal persona, and the personality I presented to the world was my external persona.

The person who I was on the inside and the person I was on the outside were not always the same.
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The voice in my head always told the truth. It didn’t matter if the truth was good or bad.

There would be times when the truth was so bad that my mind would be afraid to confront it.

When that occurred, my mind would automatically attempt to suppress or hold in those negative truths.

The process of my mind holding in those negative truths and not confronting those fears required energy.
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The personality I presented to the world was not always my true personality.

I would change who I was on the outside in an attempt to avoid confrontation, try to please others, and attempt to be accepted.

When that occurred, my mind would first listen to the true voice in my head. If I knew my true thoughts, feelings, and expressions would start a confrontation, not please someone else, or put me in a position where I wouldn't be accepted... I would then consciously tell a lie and change my thoughts, feelings, and expressions in an attempt to change my personality into what I felt the person I was interacting with wanted it to be.

That process of constantly changing my personality and constantly lying to the world and myself took energy.
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All I ever wanted in life was to be loved.

I was afraid that if I wasn't what the world wanted me to be, that the world wouldn't love me.

Constant scenarios of people being loved were shown on TV, in newspapers, and on the Internet.

I spent my entire life trying to be what I thought the world wanted me to be in an attempt to be loved, rather than simply being myself and receiving genuine love from those who loved me for simply being my imperfect self.
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These behaviors developed into patterns. These patterns led to my mind accumulating a lifetimes worth of suppressed fear.

As the fear I held in increased, the energy it took for me to hold in that fear increased as well.

That was compounded by me constantly using even more energy to make sure my external persona was constantly aligned with what everyone else wanted it to be.

The energy I dedicated to a lifetimes worth of suppressions and the constant changing of my personality took away from the energy needed for my body to be fully functional.


The cancer in my body originated in my throat. 

The closing of my throat chakra led to an energy imbalance in my body.

My throat was not receiving the energy it needed in order to be fully functional. That energy was being directed toward my negative energy suppressions.

Using energy to continuously hide my internal persona and constantly change my external persona combined with an uneven flow of energy between my chakras eventually resulted in "dis-ease" between my mind and my body.

The physical symptoms and the tumor that manifested as the result of the accumulation of a lifetimes worth of stagnant negative energy led to my cancer diagnosis.

Understanding the chakras helped me understand why.

The chakra that transfers energy through the spine by means of self-expression is the throat chakra.

The concentration of stored negative energy that was unable to flow through that location manifested into a tumor in that location due to my lack of self-expression.
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The chemotherapy and radiation treatments I endured were designed to attack the cancer where it manifested in my body.

Since the cancer manifested in my throat, that is where the treatment was concentrated.

That process proved to be ineffective. The cancer returned 6 months after I was told I was in remission.

I then used the combination of meditation, medical marijuana, and psychology to come to the understanding that the cancer that manifested in my body actually originated in my brain.
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A psychosomatic symptom is defined as:

1. Of or relating to a physical disorder that is caused by or notably influenced by emotional factors. 2. Pertaining to or involving both the mind and the body.

The negative stored emotions in my mind eventually led to the dis-ease of cancer manifesting in my body.

These negative stored emotions were psychosomatic symptoms.

The stored feelings about the memories in my mind developed into negative and positive emotions that collectively became my personality.
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If I had positive feelings about my memories, I would have a positive personality.

If I had negative feelings about my memories, I would have a negative personality.

If one particular emotion became a common theme within my memory bank, my personality would reflect that particular emotion.
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My collective unconscious feelings about my memories determined what my personality would be.

My personality would determine what my actions would be.

My actions would then determine what energy centers within my body would open or close, and if the energy being sent or received was positive or negative.

If my actions were imbalanced, the energy being received within my body would be imbalanced as well.



There are a set of perceptions, attitudes, values, and beliefs that are embedded in each of us.

These characteristics begin to develop from birth.

Over time this set of characteristics develops into one personality.

The characteristics of that personality are then reflected in that person’s behavior.
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My behavior for most of my life was best described as introverted.

While I did have friends, I wasn't overly expressive.

I never made eye contact with anyone.

I had an extreme amount of anxiety when I had to read in class, initiate a conversation, or speak in front of a crowd.
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I developed into an introvert because my unconscious mind was filled with fear.

My perceptions, attitudes, values, and beliefs about certain things were different than those of other people.

The fear that I held in my unconscious mind eventually led to me creating a dualistic personality. My mind did this in an effort to prevent being ostracized, laughed at, or labeled

The meditation/medical marijuana treatment gave me access to my unconscious mind, and helped me understand exactly why I became an introvert.
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The medical marijuana I ingested was in oil form.

It was 30 percent Sativa, and 70 percent Indica.

Sativa increases focus and creativity within the mind, while Indica simultaneously relaxes the body.

This hybrid style oil was designed to treat mental symptoms within the mind, while simultaneously treating physical symptoms within the body.
I had a number of unbelievable experiences while taking the medicine.

The medicine took my mind to a space that I never knew existed.

The medicine also made my body feel like it had never felt before.

I am going to talk about a few of those experiences now.

Meditation Experiences
Experience #1

The first time me feel very heavy, very nauseous, and very afraid.

The medicine eventually made me throw up.

After about 60 minutes, the effect of the medicine put me into the deepest sleep of my life.

When the medicine took ahold of me, I had absolutely no control. 
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While I was asleep, I was told that I was giggling the entire time.

I was told that I had constant smile on my face.

I was told that my body would periodically jump.

I was told that I would randomly say funny things.
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I slept for around 24 hours.

While I was asleep, my experience was extremely vivid.

My body felt like it was floating in the air.

My mind felt like it was viewing an HD virtual reality system.
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I kept seeing my childhood memories.

The memories were constantly shape shifting in and out of each other like a kaleidoscope.

It got to the point where my mind was doing more than just seeing my memories.

The memories felt so real that both my mind and my body felt like they were actually reliving the moment.
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Experience #2

This was the second time I took the medicine.

After I took it, I immediately went to sleep.

At some point throughout the night, I woke up throwing up.

After throwing up for about an hour, my body positioned itself on the edge of the bed.
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For the next 3 hours, I could not move my body.

Even though I was physically immobile, I could verbally communicate to my caretaker.

I stated that I was not afraid, and that I knew I was going to be ok.

I turned down multiple offers for emergency medical attention.
For the duration of the incident, the only thing that my mind had access to was an image of a symbol.

The image slowly changed colors, going from a light brown to a light purple.

The image was of something that I had never seen before.

I included a photo of the symbol below.



Experience #3

This experience occurred during a medical marijuana induced meditation.

I was sitting in a chair at my kitchen table.

At the moment of this mediation, I had built up a tolerance to the medicine to the point where it didn't make me immediately fall asleep.

The medicine would then induce, prolong, and deepen my meditations.
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During this meditation, I had access to my entire memory.

My memories were collectively split up into pictures.

The pictures were broken down in chronological order from my birth until the present.

I could literally swipe through, view, and evaluate all of the pictures of my entire memory with my awareness. 
This is an example of what I saw:




Each picture represented a specific block of time within my life.

While most of the pictures were individual moments, some of the pictures were duplicates.

These duplicate blocks of pictures represented moments when I was thinking about the exact same thing for an extended period of time.

These pictures included the actual moment, as well as pictures of me contemplating that same moment at different times throughout my life.
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Each picture had a value. That value was either positive or negative.

All of the duplicate photos had the same value.

Those duplicate blocks of pictures collectively represented a positive or negative moment.

Below I am going to briefly summarize 3 specific memories that my awareness viewed during this meditation.

Memory #1

This memory was negative. It was a memory of fear.

This moment occurred when I was 3 years old.

This memory consisted of more duplicate pictures than just about every other memory in my mind.

I had not remembered this moment until this meditation.

Memory #2

This memory was also negative. It was also a memory of fear.

This moment occurred when I was 4 years old.

This collective memory consisted of just about as many duplicate pictures as Memory #1.

I also had not remembered this moment until this meditation.

Memory #3

Again, this memory was negative. Again, it was a memory of fear.

This memory occurred when I was 8 years old.

This collective memory consisted of just about as many duplicate pictures as Memory #1 and Memory #2.

Again, I had not remembered this moment until this mediation.

Experience #4

This experience also occurred during a medical marijuana induced meditation.

I was again sitting in a chair at my kitchen table.

At the point of this meditation, the continued practice of this process made it easier for my mind to get into the timeless meditative space.

The medicine again induced, prolonged and deepened my meditation.
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During this meditation, the awareness in my mind began to explore the darkness inside of my body.

I could visually see my awareness traveling through multicolored tunnels all throughout my being. It was like the tunnel was protecting my awareness. It was like my awareness was looking for something.

That awareness eventually ended up in my lung, which is where the cancer in my body had again resurfaced.

A ball that was made up of squiggly white lines represented the cancer.
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When my awareness found the cancer, it literally moved the cancer back through the multicolored tunnels with it.

My awareness then guided the cancer through my chest, up into my throat, and out of my mouth.

When the cancer was out of my mouth, it landed inside of a multicolored bordered box that resembled the multicolored tunnels that it had been traveling through.

Once the cancer was in this box, the box crushed the cancer. After the cancer had been crushed, a bright white light began to emanate from the box.
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Experience #5

This experience was the culmination of all of the previous experiences.

I was in California with my former partner.

Her and I had spent the entire day together.

We spent time in nature, had a great dinner, and enjoyed some quiet time alone.
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Before we went to sleep, I took a heavy dose of my medication.

After only sleeping for a few minutes, I abruptly woke up out of my sleep.

I then woke up my former partner.

I then proceeded to have an unprecedented moment of expression.

I went on to tell my former partner the truth about every lie that I had ever told her.

I also went on to tell her about every other lie that I had ever told throughout my entire life.

After I spent 5 hours doing that, I spent the next ten hours writing 37 pages of confessions.

I was attempting to tell the truth about every lie that I had ever told.
Conceptualization 

Experience #1:

This experience helped me understand why I lived my life in fear.

That memory of fear dominated my unconscious mind at that very early point in my life.

That memory of fear had a negative effect on my perception, attitude, and values going forward.

The fear of that memory actually ended up perpetuating more fear as my life went on.
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Experience # 2

This experience helped me understand my perception of the world.

It was more linear than abstract.

Everything was either black or white, left or right, or up and down.

This experience helped me see things in a more abstract fashion.
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The morning after this experience, I went for a walk.

The sky never looked so blue.

The birds never sounded so beautiful

The breeze never felt so good.
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My writing got better.

Everything was clear, concise, and connected.

My creativity began to expand.

I let my mind play, run wild, and be free.
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This combination resulted in some really neat work.

My cancer blog became both informative and entertaining.

I was providing information while simultaneously having fun.

I was becoming balanced.
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A week after this experience, I randomly came across a YouTube video that included the symbol of what I saw in my meditation.

After watching the video, I learned that the symbol represented the Fibonacci Sequence.

The Fibonacci Sequence is a linear mathematical equation that abstractly looks like the beginning of a spiral.

The Fibonacci Sequence has also been associated with the beginning of creation, or the merging between the linear and the abstract.
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When a person continues to learn, it gives them the ability to learn more at a faster rate.

When a person continues to create, their levels of creativity expand.

The learning and creative processes simultaneously and continuously refine themselves.

When these patterns are continuously followed… re-creation, improvement, and refinement continuously occur.
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This experience represented a paradigm shift in my mind.

This experience also represented the re-creation of my perception.

I was becoming more abstract, and more creative.

I was also becoming more positive.
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The functionality of the brain is split into two parts.

The "Left Brain" is the linear part of the brain.

The "Right brain" is the abstract part of the brain.

This is experience was my abstract mind attempting to counterbalance my then linear dominate mindset.


I had a terminal cancer diagnosis.

I knew that if I continued to go along with the standard cancer protocol, I was going to die.

This experience told me that I had to change my approach to treating cancer.

I needed to be more creative.
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Experience #3

This experience really helped me understand how medical marijuana could be used to treat cancer.

I mentioned earlier that the medicine I took was a sativa/Indica medical marijuana hybrid.

Sativa increases focus and creativity within the mind.

The Indica relaxes the body.

At this point, my meditation process was solid.

My mind was open.

My awareness was sharp.

My body was gone.
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At the height of this meditation, I had full access to my unconscious mind.

I could literally swipe through every memory that I had ever experienced, and view it as if it were a picture.

I could spend what felt like an infinite amount of time viewing each picture.

Viewing the picture made my body feel like it was emotionally living the moment that I was viewing.
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The emotions that my mind was feeling by viewing these memories resulted in a real time physical response from my chakras.

My chakras were responding to each memory of my past like I was presently in the moment.

If I were viewing a moment of fear, my chakras would receive that negative energy and those negative emotions.

If I were viewing a moment of love, my chakras would receive that positive energy and those positive emotions.
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I could also change my perception of each moment while viewing it.

If I viewed a moment of fear, I faced it.

I then re-analyzed, re-conceptualized, and re-evaluated that moment.

If that moment of fear originated in my 3-year-old mind, my 36-year-old mind had the ability to change the perception of that moment.
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My perception of a scary memory at 3 years old was much different than my perception of a scary moment at 36 years old.

If I scraped my knee at 36, it wouldn't be the end of the world like it was when I was 3.

When my awareness initially confronted that moment during my meditation, my mind and my body would have the same emotional and physical negative response that my body had to that moment when I was three years old.

I would literally be in a state of paranoia, like the mind of a 3 year old would be. My 36-year-old mind would then take over the moment.
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After re-analyzing, re-conceptualizing, and evaluating the moment with my 36 year old mind, my enhanced perception of the moment would allow my mind to then change that value of that memory from a negative to a positive one.

After this process was completed, the value of the moment would remain the same.

Every time I went back to a moment during a subsequent meditation, the value of that moment would still be positive.

This process was giving my mind the ability to change my perceptions of those moments from negative to positive.
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This was my mind healing itself.

Whatever emotion I carried out during a moment of meditation was an emotion that I felt in real time.

Since my chakras were open to receiving the positive energies being felt during those moments of meditation, reliving those moments in my mind during my meditation was regenerating real-time energy and allowing that energy to flow within my body.

The corresponding positive energy flow in my body led to me healing.
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The deeper I got into the meditation, the better and more favorable my memories became.

It was like my mind had created a hierarchy of my memories.

The level of depth of my mediation directly corresponded to my medication dosage.

The bigger the dosage, the deeper into my mind I could go.
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If I received a hug from someone at 3 years old, my 3-year-old mind may have thought that was the biggest gesture of love in the world.

That memory may be at the top of the hierarchy of memories that my mind created, even though my 36-year-old mind doesn't have that same perception of the moment.

If that moment occurred during my meditation, my 36-year-old body would still feel the super positive emotional benefits of that relatively normal gesture. My 36-year-old mind wouldn't attempt to change the moment since the moment was already super positive.

The collective benefit of reliving that moment in my mind was regenerating real time super positive energy within the body.
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If I fell and bumped my knee at 3 years old, my underdeveloped mind may have perceived that moment as the most devastating moment in the world.

That would have made every picture that corresponded with that moment negative

As a 36-year-old man, I had an entirely different perception of that moment.

I now look at that moment as a situation I overcame, now making every picture that corresponded with that moment positive.
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After I began to understand how this process worked, I began to manipulate this process by manipulating my senses.

If I wanted to relive memories from specific moments, I would meditate while listening to the music that I was listening to while reliving those moments.

When I built up a tolerance, I could eat food that I ate during positive moments.

It eventually got to the point where I could manipulate multiple senses, and receive and transfer multiple forms of positive energy into my chakras at the same time.
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Since I had the ability to access and have full awareness of my unconscious mind, I had the ability to change the perception and corresponding value of every memory in my life.

That new value could then potentially change my attitude, values, and beliefs.

I now looked at all of the negative memories as situations I overcame, rather than as situations that I had suffered from.

That process empowered my awareness, and gave my mind the ability to change the value of each of my memories from a super negative to a super positive.
...

This meditation also helped the conscious mind.

Since my unconscious mind feeds into the subconscious and conscious minds, my outlook on the future became more positive.

The sativa gives my mind the ability to stretch or slow down the moment.

My mind now has the ability to make better real time conscious decisions due to the medicine slowing the moment down, giving my awareness more time to make more thought out choices.
...

The voice in my head changed.

I could now confront the truth to myself, since my perception of the truth was now positive.

I no longer needed to suppress those truths to myself, since I was no longer afraid to face those truths.

My mind no longer needed to designate energy to holding in those negative truths, because confronting those once negative truths and changing my perception of them now made them positive.
...

My overall personality became more positive.

My perceptions, attitudes, values, and beliefs were more positive.

There was one problem.

I was afraid to express those truths and my new personality to the world.
...

I was still an introvert.

Knowing the truth actually made me even more afraid to express myself.

Even re-evaluating and changing the perception of my memories, some of my memories would definitely still be perceived as negatives to others.

Even though I could face the truth about myself to myself, I was still afraid of revealing my imperfect truth to the world.
...

Knowing the truth gave me the understanding of what I needed to do.

In order for my energy centers to fully open and my energy to fully flow while I was awake, I needed to release all of my fears and fully express myself.

The reason my cancer metastasized to my lung was because of the "dis-ease" in my heart chakra.

Even though I knew I needed to tell the truth, I understood that telling the truth would lead to my heart being broken and a lot of the love in my life being lost.
 ...

This was especially true of my relationship.

I was in love.

Despite being in love, I made some mistakes.

Telling the truth could potentially result in me losing the love of my life.
...

This experience helped me understand that the combination of using energy to maintain a dualistic personality, holding in my negative truths, and continuously changing my external persona was literally going to kill me.

This experience also helped me understand that the combination of using meditation to extract positive emotions that my body would feel and releasing the negative energy suppressions within my body was the key to me healing.

This experience also helped me understand that I had to make a choice.

The first choice would be to tell the truth, and lose my relationship. The second choice would be to hold in the truth, and literally lose my life.
 ...

Experience #4

Experience #4 was abstractly telling me how to cure my cancer.

It told me that in order for me to remove the cancer from my body, I had to express myself.

I had to let it out.

I had to speak from the heart, admit my wrongs, and tell my truth to the world.
...

The cancer metastasized in my lung because the energy center in my lung is connected to my heart chakra.

All of my other chakras were quickly closing as well, due to the fact that every emotion in my body was at an extreme level of dis-ease.

That is the reason that my cancer manifested in my bloodstream.

It was only a matter of time before tumors began to form all over my body, killing me from the inside out.
 ...
Continually repeating this meditative process enabled my unconscious mind to perceive every memory in it as positive.

I even looked at my worst actions as good.

Perceiving the bad as something I endured was empowering.

Continually repeating this meditative process also enabled my unconscious mind to appreciate the already good memories even more.
...

To me, the contrast brought clarity.

Even though I now perceive those memories as good, those newly valued positive memories were given this distinction from my interpretation.

Other people involved in those moments and who were hurt by my actions would more than likely have a different perception of the truth.

To others, the contrast brought confusion.
 ...

After conceptualizing this experience, I again knew that I had a choice to make.

The first choice would be to uphold a fake external persona, let it kill me, and be remembered as a hero.

The second choice would be to reveal my imperfect truth, save myself, and hope to have the opportunity to provide context for and show growth after revealing my imperfect truth.

It was either hold in the truth and die, or tell the truth and stay alive.
 ...

Experience #5

It was March of 2017.

This was the culmination of all of the experiences.

It was now or never.

Make a choice. Live or die.
...

It was the perfect day.

The weather was warm.

My ex-partner and I spent time in nature, enjoying good company, and eating delicious food.

At the conclusion of the day, we spent some quiet time alone.
 ...
Before we went to sleep, I took my medication.

During my sleep, I began to talk.

I woke myself up. I then woke her up.

After I woke her up, I told her the truth.
...

All I ever wanted in life was to be loved.

At that moment, I realized that I had finally got what I had always wanted.

I found love.

At that moment, I also realized that the love that I always wanted was going to be lost.
...

Telling the truth to my ex-partner was by far and away the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

I cried the entire time.

My body, mind, and soul were in a collective euphoric state that I cannot accurately conceptualize.

It felt like I was possessed.
...

At the conclusion of my 5-hour confessional, she left.

I began to write.

I went on to type a 37 page unfiltered confessional, thoroughly telling every lie that I had ever told.

When I finished the written confessional, I posted it on my blog and went to sleep.
...

The intention of my actions wasn't to hurt anyone.

My intention was to take full responsibility for my actions.

The intention was to hurt myself.

My intention was to take all of the blame.
...

My intention for bringing this up is to genuinely apologize my actions.
...

After that experience occurred, my body rapidly began to heal.

I had no more negative energy suppressions.

All of the memories in my unconscious mind were positive.

I had no more cancer symptoms, and have not been to a doctor since. 
...

Synthesis
My cancer journey gave me perspective. 

If I had never gotten the cancer, I would never value life the way that I do now.

The cancer hurt me, but it didn't kill me.

Instead of cancer killing me, I let my perception of the cancer empower me.
...

I needed the struggle.

If I had never struggled, I would never value peace the way that I do now.

The struggle hurt me, but it didn't kill me.

Instead of letting the struggle kill me, I let my new positive perception of the struggle empower me.
...

I needed the pain.

If I had never felt any pain, I would never value pleasure the way that I do now.

The pain hurt me, but it didn't kill me.

Instead of letting the pain kill me, I let my perception of the pain empower me.
...

My intention for this book is to help others.

I want to show the world how a man with a terminal cancer diagnosis healed himself by going through the cancer, struggle, and pain within his own mind.

I want to show the world that they can heal their own trauma by facing their own issues, enduring a struggle, and being honest with themselves.

My intentions were to share my experience so others could learn from my successes, in an effort to prevent anyone to have to endure the physical and emotional pain that I had to endure.
...

In November of 2016, I was given one year to live.

In February of 2017, I had lung Cancer surgery.

That was the last time I saw a doctor.

That was the best decision I have ever made.

This is more than just a book, theory, or proposal.

This is my real life. I lived this story.

I was given a death diagnosis, and told that there were no further treatment options for me other than the ones that I previously mentioned.
I literally had to create a cure to cancer in order to save my own life.
...

I took a hard look at both chemotherapy and radiation treatments.

I took a hard look at their methods and intentions.

The treatments were both designed to attack the cancer at the location of the physical manifestation of the psychosomatic symptom, rather than at the negative emotional source buried deep in the unconscious mind.

I realized that they both treated cancer from the top down, as opposed to from the bottom up.


...

Psychosomatic symptoms start at the bottom of the iceberg.

Chemotherapy and radiation treat cancer from the top of the iceberg and on the surface of the body where it is visible. 

The unconscious mind is filled with both positive and negative memories that we do not remember.

Chemotherapy and radiation attempt to treat the symptom where it manifests, and not where the problem originally manifested

  
In order to treat cancer, we need to change our perception of the psychosomatic symptom.

Medical marijuana treats the psychosomatic symptom at the source by giving a person the ability to change their perception of the stored negative memory to a positive.
The unconscious mind is filled with both positive and negative memories that we do not remember.

Medical marijuana gives people the ability to find the negative memory, change our perception of that memory, and turn that negative moment into an empowering one.
...

I began this by book by admitting that I lived in a state of dualism.

I had the voice in my head, and the personality that I presented to the world.

The voice in my head and the personality I presented to the world are now the same.

Instead of continuing to live in a state of dualism, I fused those two people into one.
...

My internal and external personas are now one.

I did the work, re-evaluated both identities, and shed the bad from each.

The person who I am today on both the outside and the inside is exact same person.

I am no longer afraid to be the real Kyle Kostic.
...

My background in psychology helped me understand that my cancer started in the brain.

My background in spirituality helped me understand why my cancer manifested in my throat, and spread to my lung.

My background in sports and physical fitness helped me endure this extremely taxing regimen.

My ability to analyze, assess, and synthesize this information helped me write this.
...

At the point of my conception, my mother received an energy transfer from my father.

For the next nine months, my father’s energy transfer was molded by my mother in her womb and through the umbilical cord to me.

The value of that molded energy after 9 months of being in the womb determined both my baseline personality and my baseline physical makeup at birth.

This molding process ends when my umbilical cord is cut and I am born.
...

My mother and father were both smart.

Their collective energy made me smart.

My mother and father were both athletic.

Their collective energy influenced my baseline athleticism at birth.
...

My mother and father both had suppressions.

The collective negative energy that was tied to those suppressions was transferred to me.

My mother and father had different personalities.

Their collective personalities influenced my baseline personality at birth.
...

I hypothesize that the receipt of negative emotional transfers in the form of collective parental suppressions is the reason why children are born with cancer.

Children are receiving negative energy from their parents.

If these suppressions are emotionally consistent between the two parents, the collective energy will manifest with the chakra that corresponds with the emotion that is being suppressed.

That negative energy transfer will then manifest into a tumor in the child's part of the body that corresponds with the chakra that is attempting to move the collective stagnated energy of the child’s parents.
...

If a child is born with leukemia for example, I hypothesize that it is due to the collective negative energy transferred to the child from both parents due to the collective dis-ease within all of their parent’s chakras.

If both parents suppressed truth, infidelity, and other bad things... that emotional dis-ease on the chakras would be strong, widespread, and would increase over time. This is why I hypothesize that children become more at risk of being born with dis-eases at birth as their parent’s age increases. 

This continued accumulation of negative energy suppressions being transferred to the children by their parents ultimately ends up manifesting into leukemia... the dis-ease that effects the blood, all of the emotions, and all of the chakras.

Children are receiving stagnated energy suppressions from their parents, and those energy suppressions are manifesting into cancer throughout the bloodstream,. 
...

I hypothesize that most women have breast cancer due the dis-ease between their heart and throat chakras

They are holding in negative emotions that correspond with both of those energy centers.

They are afraid to express their true feelings and emotions about love. 

That suppressed negative energy meets in the middle of the heart and the throat and manifests into breast cancer.
...

I hypothesize that ALL cancer is due to dis-ease between people and their emotions.

The dis-ease of the emotions in the mind is reflected in physical dis-ease within the body.

That dis-ease manifests in the emotional chakra and corresponding part of the body.

I was an introvert that held in negative energy and didn’t express myself, which is why I eventually got throat cancer.
...

Conclusion
According to my doctors, cancer was supposed to have killed me by now.

Instead of letting the cancer kill me, I did what I had to do.

I stopped living in a state of dualism.

Instead of continuing to live my life as two people, I killed the cancer patient.
And cured the “Dis-ease” 

;-)