6/21/19

I am thinking about how all of my friends are achieving their impossible dreams. I am thinking about when I will finally be acknowledged for persevering through what was was once thought to be an impossible nightmare. I am thinking about when I will finally be acknowledged as the author that lived through terminal cancer , conceptualized the cure to all cancer , and published the cure to all cancer. I am thinking about when my dream will finally come true.

6/21/19 9:42 pm

6/20/19

I am thinking about what I have to do for my cause to get the attention that it deserves. I am talking about cancer. I grew up with no dad. I have only met him three times. The first time I met my father , I was twenty-seven years old. I have forgiven him for the pain he caused my mother and I , because I understand that he was a black man that was a victim of the system. My mother and I grew up very poor. I remember at one point our rent was twenty-six dollars , because we were on welfare and subsidized housing. Despite being poor , my mother had enough resources to raise me into a gifted child upon entering kindergarten. I was always the best player on my baseball, basketball, and football teams. I was the pitcher, guard, and quarterback. My teams were always competitive. My teams have championships. I had a son at sixteen years old. I tried to sell drugs once, but my mom flushed the ounce of weed I was hiding in my ceiling down the toilet. She then decided to spank my very tough , smart , and athletic self. I never touched weed after that ... until over twenty years later when I was told I had terminal cancer. Despite having a son , I graduated high school. I was passed through because I was a star athlete. I skipped the entire eleventh grade. Nobody cared. Teachers would see me at McDonald's at noon with my jersey on and act like they didn't see me, because they wanted to see me play that night. I don't even remember the twelfth grade in the classroom , other than the water gun fight our teachers let us have on the last day. I never drank alcohol , smoked cigarettes , or partied in high school. I played sports , gambled , listened to music , and hung out with a special close few. It wasn't always safe outside. I have friends who were killed outside. I didn't want to go to college after high school because I didn't want to get a job. I saw how systems worked back then. I didn't want too much money. People with too much money get robbed where I am from. As long as I had enough money to do the things that I liked, I was always good. I didn't want to go to work from M-F from 9am to 5pm for the rest of my life. Does anyone want to work their life away? That is how a gifted child is supposed to think. I was smart enough and a patient enough gambler to know that I could flip my money at the casino. I snuck in and won money as a teenager. I ended up going to college anyway. I cried my entire first day because I was homesick. Basketball and the cafeteria kept me there for three years. I didn't drink , do drugs , or party in college. My urge to come home for more than weekends , holidays , and summers eventually became greater than my urge to finish school ... so I dropped out of college after my junior year. I then helped raise my son , got married , had a daughter ,  raised my family , coached basketball , played basketball , took trips , wrote a book , and just hung out with my family. I was fulfilled. I was an adult. Fortunately and unfortunately , my job location for over nine years closed down. I was forced to go back to school , because to every new company I was just another entry level employee with no degree. I went back to school for the knowledge , and the money. I got the knowledge this time. I was on the dean's list every semester until I graduated. I was my programs prize student. I then went on to work in a juvenile prison. I then went on to work as a case manager for children. I then went on to work in law enforcement. I excelled in all of those roles. I then got cancer. I had a huge event at William Allen High School to create awareness for myself , and my cause. Cancer. I covered it on my blog. Hundreds of tshirts with my name and cancer ribbons were given out. A bunch of sponsors names are on the back of those shirts. A multitude of different businesses were part of what was a really big event for a Stage IV Cancer patient. I could barely walk. I was one hundred and twenty-five pounds. I was in the middle of chemotherapy and radiation treatment. People cheered my name when they saw me. People cried when I spoke. I was given a journal that day. I was given a lot of love that day. I was given a lot of money that day. That was in September of 2015. I felt like a hometown hero. Unfortunately , the chemotherapy and radiation treatments failed. In November of 2016 , I was told that the cancer was in my lung and in my entire bloodstream. I was told that I had one year to live , and that I was going to die. I knew as a parent , son , man , gifted child , athlete , and college graduate ... I had to figure it out. I had to gamble. After surviving lung cancer surgery that I was told I may not wake up from , I had to step outside of the system , and do something new. I knew the system was leading me to death. I had to figure out the cure to cancer. A lot happened after my surgery. I took my children for a vacation across the country. I blogged it all. A lot more happened. I wrote about that too. To keep a long story short , I eventually published the book The DEATH OF a CANCER patient on May 31 , 2018. In my mind I was thinking that when I finished the book ... that my school , hospitals , businesses , everyone at my event , etc. etc. ... were going to literally take my book from my hand and immediately implement the method I used to heal , conceptualized , and articulated ... to every other cancer patient in the world. Yes I know how research , peer reviewed blah , blah , blah ... works. This was different. I was always different. I was always first , the leader , and the best. Simply put , all humans are the same. If you understand how to fix one cancer patient by using medical jargon , you can understand and explain how you can fix every cancer patient. I thought that considering my past resume , my assessed past intelligence , the fact that we were talking about terminal cancer , and the fact that I healed so well ... with an explanation ... that an immediate big response would be warranted by the powers that be. I have endured the struggles of my life before cancer. I then persevered through 3 Cisplatin chemotherapy treatments , 35 radiation treatments , the inside and outside of my throat being burned to black , no food or water for 8 months , pneumonia , various emergency room visits , appointments every day , all of BIG PHARMAS medicine , lung cancer , the death diagnosis , lung cancer surgery , the shame of revealing my truth , losing everything and everyone , homelessness , and threats to my life. I have done everything the right way. My son is 21 years old. He is a great kid, started varsity basketball , is a high school graduate , is a great boyfriend , has no kids , has a full time job , and has never been arrested. My daughter is gifted , athletic , etc. etc. etc. My children are a reflection of how I helped raise them , of their mothers , and of my character. My children and our relationships are a big part of my resume. The relationships with the mothers of my children are a big part of my resume. They are both very beautiful , loving , and respectful women and mothers. I am a dad , dad. I taught my kids the little things. I spent long days with them. I was at every big moment. I have never been arrested or in trouble with the law. My professional resume made me a lot of money , got me a lot of respect , and warranted a lot of attention ... before cancer. I have only strengthened it since then. Before cancer , I had one published book. I now have 5 published books. I have been very patient. I have had the best intentions. Meanwhile a lot of businesses that have been successfully unable to provide an answer to cancer patients continue to profit , while a lot of cancer patients continue to die using the unsuccessful healing options of profit first based businesses. I am not suggesting to people that what I know is the answer. I am telling them. I guess what I am asking at this point is ... how much longer will my story be ignored? Haven't I not endured enough pain in my life? What is holding me back? How much longer will money come before healing people? How many more naive , innocent , and hopeful cancer patients have to die before anything changes? How many more whistle blowers have to die before the masses collectively stand up and fight for what we all know to be true? What do I have to do to be validated? What else do I have to do for my cause to get the attention that it deserves , and for the entire world to change? I can endure the mental pain of being ignored. I am going to continue to be patient ... and not do anything to compromise myself , the cause , or warrant negative attention. Hopefully my cause will get the attention that it deserves ... soon. Below is an updated conceptualization of the cure to all cancer. 

...

Cancer consultation example:

6/19/19 3:36 pm

The cure to cancer is all about externalizing dirty water ... or dirty emotion from the body. Your daughter either inherited emotion that her young mind is afraid to face , and / or collectively experienced trauma in her life that her mind is afraid to face. For example ... hypothetically speaking ... she could have watched a movie about dragons before bed one night. That night before bed she could have thought that a real dragon was really under her bed. Now as adults , our developed minds know that the dragon under her bed is not real. Now the mind of your adolescent daughter DEFINITELY 😵😱🤒 thinks that dragon under the bed is real. Now since she is a child and she is afraid to face that dragon, her mind buries that fear. Burying fear takes energy. In medical terminology , a buried fear is called a psychosomatic symptom. You can Google and fact check everything I write in my books, and here. The more scary thoughts or psychosomatic symptoms that our minds are afraid to face ... the more energy it takes for our minds to continuously hold in those thoughts ... resulting in less energy that we have to face the world and live in the present with. In short ... your daughter needs to externalize emotion. Now ... think about WHAT your daughter is. She started out as a piece of sperm from her father. Sperm is light trapped in water. The light is information. Water is emotion that is effected by her consciousness ... which is information ... or "her" light. YouTube DR. EMOTO and his research on water for the conceptualization of that fact. In laymen's terms ... her father inserted information and emotion into you as her mother through either sexual intercourse or artificial incimination. Some of those emotions could be suppressions. It would literally depend on what he is thinking about during intercourse or ejaculation. Now after conception ... that piece of sperm ... or information and emotion ... is molding with your information and emotion ... through the umbilical cord , your mind , and your heart. Now if you as her mother were suppressing emotion that you were afraid to face during your 9 month pregnancy ... you would transfer that dirty water ... or dirty emotion  ... to your child.Thats means your child ... and every child EVER ... was born with a baseline level of dirty water ... or suppressed emotion ... because most men and / or women suppress emotion at some level during either sex , while ejaculating, or while pregnant. A high level of collective suppressions would result in a baby being born with leukemia ... or cancer in the blood ... or with dis-ease within all of the emotions or chakras ... if enough dirty water is detected in the body of a baby at birth. Now if one specific emotion is being suppressed by the mother ... that emotion will be filtered to the part of the body that correlates with the chakra of the corresponding emotion. So to further the example ... if the mother of a child developed a fear of money ... dirty water ... which is emotion effected by consciousness ... would be transferred to the fetus in the womb from the mother through the umbilical cord into the "soul" or stomach of the baby. That emotion will then get filtered through the spine to be accessed by the pineal gland of the fetus ... then to the corresponding chakra of the emotion that the FETUS felt ... which in the money example would be the root chakra. That is ONE REASON why a baby would be born with ovarian cancer. Now the emotion of the fetus was DEFINITELY effected by the emotion of the mother ... because the mother and fetus share the same "soul" via the umbilical chord , and perception ... to an extent via shared felt emotions. That is why family members look a alike and think alike. They share water, and emotion. The difference would be the degree. Think weather , water , and light. Long story short ... your daughter is water and light. Her water needs to be purified. In order to do that , her dirty water ... or cancer ... needs to be drained. Again ... water holds emotion that is effected by consciousness. What that means is her light / third eye  /pineal gland consciousness ... is going to eventually see that dirty emotion dirty water with her light / awareness / perception ... and it is going to be dramatic. The cure to cancer has deep effects on relationships , because it reveals truth. Now ... how do you drain a human? With plants. If you put a plant in your daughter , it will absorb water ... and emotion. Your daughter will then have to externalize that plant , dirty water , and dirty emotion via tears, words, urine, and bowel movements. Plants on trees complete photosynthesis on the earth every day. If your daughter puts medical marijuana in her body ... it will have a psychoactive effect on her mind ... and her young mind will see her inherited trauma, her real trauma, and her self induced trauma. She will then need to externalize her psychosomatic symptoms via means of self expression , tears , words , urine , and bowel movements. Again ... water holds emotion that is effected by consciousness. If her consciousness / light / awareness / perception / third eye does not access that suppressed emotion ... or dirty water ... that suppressed emotion will result in a cancer tumor ... or a dirty piece of ice. Modern medicine does the exact opposite of medical marijuana. It attempts to sedate emotion and keep tumors in the body with side effects that patients can live with. It doesn't try to melt the ice. Life long patients assure lifelong business and lifelong money for a small few. I will stop there for now. Can you understand the correlations? If not , let your doctor , a psychiatrist, or psychologist read this. They can do the correlations , because this is their language. Then implement those procedures on your daughter immediately.

I wish you and her the best 🖤

-Kyle J. Kostic

6/12/19

Random honest thoughts during my daughters 8th grade graduation:

I am thinking about how while most people think that money is the root of all evil ... I think that creating systems that warrant receiving titles, attention, and achievements ... but also lead to unconscious motivation to perpetuate systems that do not benefit the masses for money and attention ... is even more evil.

I am thinking about operation paperclip, education, psychology, Nazi's, NASA, Wernher von Braun, his legacy, his tombstone, space, water, ice, the sun, the moon, the black sun, the North Star, the Swastika, Egypt, the pyramids, the Sphynx, gods, dogs, noses, eyes, lies, suppressions, energy, decpetion, confessions, the Bible, religious texts, scripture, culture, society, social hierarchy, language, music, the media, television, inverted truth, misled purity, false prophets, false preachers, false teachers, false healers, false leaders, false paths, fake love, fake laughs, fake smiles, fake success, fake wealth, and fake health. 

I am also thinking about true lies, true truth, true wealth, true health, true success, true smiles, true laughs, and true, true love.

I am thinking about how the Black girl and the Dominican girl who are performing are trying so hard , struggling , and failing to sing some z100 song at this assembly. I am internally laughing at the fake off beat non soulful claps from certain staff members. I am thinking about how awfully boring this is. I am thinking about watering plants, and I don't even have a garden. I am thinking about how lit this assembly would have been if the students sang to Cardi B. Everyone knows all of the words to all of her songs.

I am thinking about how the guest speaker at this assembly is a pure, kind, and good man with pure intentions. I am thinking about how we have a 30+ year relationship, and he is my friend.

I am thinking about how I would not post my feelings about a fake wedding on social media.

I am thinking about all of the attention that I am intentionally ignoring right now.

I am thinking about all of the people who are intentionally ignoring me right now.

I am thinking about how I was once a commencement speaker at a high school graduation, due to the fact the my book was used as part of student curriculum. I am thinking about how 4 books later, nobody knows who I am.

I am thinking about first world money in third world culture.

I am thinking about how the majority of minority students do not aspire to be like the majority of their leaders. The majority of child students who participate and are successful in these systems are so because they think being successful in these systems is a secure way to obtain money in this society. They are right. Majority leaders are smart enough to understand the influence of minority leaders and the influence that money has on everything else ... so majority leaders intentionally groom , indoctrinate, miseducate, and reward the best minority leaders with money and attention to perpetuate systems that do not benefit the masses ... especially systems that leave the remaining minorities at the bottom of the social hierarchy.

I am thinking about how I am embarrassed for the administration on stage at this assembly due to the fact that they know the performers, students, audience, janitors, and even themselves aren't into the second G - rated politically correct student musical performance of this assembly.

I am thinking about how the students literally boo'd the principal back to his seat and refused to hear his closing story, because this 2 hour assembly has been so boring, he is wack, and everyone just really wants to get out of here. I am thinking about how he conceptualized his speech by saying, "Go to college ... it is a sure way to get a job and make money."

I am thinking about South America, Africa, and Asia. 

I am thinking about Los Angeles, and Allentown.

I am thinking about how the youth of the future and the truth of forever are going to eventually outlive oppressive systems of the present and individualistic ideals of the past.

I am thinking about lunch.

6/12/19

6/2/19

Today is 6/2/19 at 3:54 am.

I am laying on the floor in the airport in Cincinnati, OH. I am headed back to Allentown.

...

I just spent the last week back in Los Angeles. The majority of my time was spent at the spa. I slept there every night. I wanted to totally disconnect from the world, purify my body with water, and attempt to give myself clarity.

During my time at the spa I realized that I want a normal, simple, and quiet life. My social ambiguity is very important to me. I do not want a lot of attention. I do not want to be a show. I am an author. All I want is for my work to receive the attention that it deserves.

During my time in public in Los Angeles, I realized that my presence, my story, and my ability to articulate myself would bring me attention. What I also realized is that there are certain entities that do not want my presence, that do not want to hear my story, and that just want me to go away. The attention I would get would take away from the attention that they would receive, which would be bad for their businesses.

Those feelings apply to people as well. There are people who I was once friends with who no longer want to associate with me, because my relationship with them could be detrimental to their business relationships.

Knowing the cure to cancer has become my gift, and my curse. Saying that there is a cure to all cancer is too good to be true for a lot of people. Businesses understand this, and continue to provide the masses with false hope, using marketing schemes to funnel people into their ineffective profit based systems.

My heart is broken. I have compassion for everyone, on both sides. I understand people who want good lives for their families, and who will consciously perpetuate a system of oppression so they can feed their families. I also understand that people set up systems of oppression due to fear. I have compassion for those people too.

I still have hope. I have my health, and understand how to stay healthy. I know how to face, absorb, and release pain. I still have my patience. I still have faith. Even though I have cried an ocean full of tears, I know that I am going to be ok.

I am just going to go back home. I am going to stop pushing my story onto others. I am tired. I am just going to live a quiet and simple life. My books will eventually find their way. So will I.

...

It is now 4:33 am. I am going to try to take a little nap before my flight.

Peace.

-Kyle