Today is 6/2/19 at 3:54 am.
I am laying on the floor in the airport in Cincinnati, OH. I am headed back to Allentown.
...
I just spent the last week back in Los Angeles. The majority of my time was spent at the spa. I slept there every night. I wanted to totally disconnect from the world, purify my body with water, and attempt to give myself clarity.
During my time at the spa I realized that I want a normal, simple, and quiet life. My social ambiguity is very important to me. I do not want a lot of attention. I do not want to be a show. I am an author. All I want is for my work to receive the attention that it deserves.
During my time in public in Los Angeles, I realized that my presence, my story, and my ability to articulate myself would bring me attention. What I also realized is that there are certain entities that do not want my presence, that do not want to hear my story, and that just want me to go away. The attention I would get would take away from the attention that they would receive, which would be bad for their businesses.
Those feelings apply to people as well. There are people who I was once friends with who no longer want to associate with me, because my relationship with them could be detrimental to their business relationships.
Knowing the cure to cancer has become my gift, and my curse. Saying that there is a cure to all cancer is too good to be true for a lot of people. Businesses understand this, and continue to provide the masses with false hope, using marketing schemes to funnel people into their ineffective profit based systems.
My heart is broken. I have compassion for everyone, on both sides. I understand people who want good lives for their families, and who will consciously perpetuate a system of oppression so they can feed their families. I also understand that people set up systems of oppression due to fear. I have compassion for those people too.
I still have hope. I have my health, and understand how to stay healthy. I know how to face, absorb, and release pain. I still have my patience. I still have faith. Even though I have cried an ocean full of tears, I know that I am going to be ok.
I am just going to go back home. I am going to stop pushing my story onto others. I am tired. I am just going to live a quiet and simple life. My books will eventually find their way. So will I.
...
It is now 4:33 am. I am going to try to take a little nap before my flight.
Peace.
-Kyle
I am laying on the floor in the airport in Cincinnati, OH. I am headed back to Allentown.
...
I just spent the last week back in Los Angeles. The majority of my time was spent at the spa. I slept there every night. I wanted to totally disconnect from the world, purify my body with water, and attempt to give myself clarity.
During my time at the spa I realized that I want a normal, simple, and quiet life. My social ambiguity is very important to me. I do not want a lot of attention. I do not want to be a show. I am an author. All I want is for my work to receive the attention that it deserves.
During my time in public in Los Angeles, I realized that my presence, my story, and my ability to articulate myself would bring me attention. What I also realized is that there are certain entities that do not want my presence, that do not want to hear my story, and that just want me to go away. The attention I would get would take away from the attention that they would receive, which would be bad for their businesses.
Those feelings apply to people as well. There are people who I was once friends with who no longer want to associate with me, because my relationship with them could be detrimental to their business relationships.
Knowing the cure to cancer has become my gift, and my curse. Saying that there is a cure to all cancer is too good to be true for a lot of people. Businesses understand this, and continue to provide the masses with false hope, using marketing schemes to funnel people into their ineffective profit based systems.
My heart is broken. I have compassion for everyone, on both sides. I understand people who want good lives for their families, and who will consciously perpetuate a system of oppression so they can feed their families. I also understand that people set up systems of oppression due to fear. I have compassion for those people too.
I still have hope. I have my health, and understand how to stay healthy. I know how to face, absorb, and release pain. I still have my patience. I still have faith. Even though I have cried an ocean full of tears, I know that I am going to be ok.
I am just going to go back home. I am going to stop pushing my story onto others. I am tired. I am just going to live a quiet and simple life. My books will eventually find their way. So will I.
...
It is now 4:33 am. I am going to try to take a little nap before my flight.
Peace.
-Kyle
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