It is September 15 , 2019 at 3:57 pm. The Patriots are beating the Dolphins 37-0. I didn't even know it was football season , let alone week 2. I have been really focused on work.
I just got back from spending 10 days in Los Angeles. This trip gave me a breakthrough. The one I needed. I really needed to understand that nobody cares. Forget about me. Forget about you. Forget about cancer. People like you and me and with cancer that are reading this have places to sleep. Homeless people do not have places to sleep. I have social security, a gym membership, and my health. I have been homeless. While I am in Pennsylvania, I have a place to sleep. I am a California resident though , due to my medical needs. When I am in California, I am really homeless. I was really homeless for these last 10 days. I really slept outside of UCLA Health Center on Lincoln BLVD in Marina Del Rey. I really go to St Joseph's Homeless Center every day to get my mail. I really go to Bread and Roses to eat every day. I have checked in to those places over 300+ times in the last 3 years. I really walk until I get blisters on my feet. After I sit and pop the blisters, I get up and keep walking. I break my root chakra on purpose, and then let it heal. I walked an unthinkable amount of miles in the last 10 days. I needed to be around the worst of the worst, and away from people who need attention. While I was in LA, I intentionally went to the hood and sat in piss and garbage with Papi. Yes I am getting ignored for publishing 5 books, knowing the cure to cancer, blah blah blah... but this grown man is constantly being ignored for literally living in piss and garbage. Like, Mr. Hildago has a name, story, and a REAL need for attention. I don't really care about your Ferrari , your resume , what you are wearing, what you look like, or what you are financially worth. I am not giving it any of my attention. Mr. Hildago needs to be loved. He needs my attention. He and other homeless people need the attention of us all. Just by me giving him attention , he feels love. He doesn't even speak English , and I barely speak Spanish. He just sits and swats flies, and I just sit and smoke weed. My point is, my life is ok. Seeing how homeless people still live and remembering really being homeless for some time in LA gave me the breakthrough of perspective that I needed. I am no longer going to complain about not being heard about knowing the cure to cancer, even though cancer patients still need help. I am just going to continue living my life. The reception I received from drops and drips is making me smile right now like I haven't smiled in a while. People love the books. I have been writing for my entire life, and only have 5 books. I only release books that I feel are necessary. drops and drips are definitely necessary. This recent trip to LA solidified my position as an author. People really, really, really, love drops and drips. Then I pull the other 3 of my books out my bag, and things really get interesting. The staff at Bread and Roses are LMU graduate school volunteers, and they all feel sorry for me because they understand my conceptualization of the cure to cancer, see my books, see and hear me speak, understand systematic oppression, and understand that I am being ostracized by society because what I know shuts big pharma down. They are almost embarrassed to give me my food and pour my drink, because they know that I shouldn't be there. I have to be there though. I have to be an author that is seen being ignored by the system by young LMU students, social service workers, and people of society. When I went to get my EBT card, the service worker felt my pain. That was a down moment for me, even though I am better now. Being ignored for knowing the cure to cancer hurts. Having to get EBT, be homeless, and do all of this stuff is not fun. I am very tired. Even though I only got $14.00 of EBT a month, I was grateful for that. I used it all. With all of that being said, I am going to continue listening to what Jeremy tells me. Slow down. Keep living slow. I am going to do just that. I am going to keep things in perspective , and be grateful for my health. I am going to just hang out with my family for a while. I have done my due diligence as a cancer advocate. I am passed that. The people in power all know the cure. They are going to release it on their terms, if at all. The system will not be taken down alone by me. I am done with the fight. Maybe the LMU students and other people who have my work will be invigorated, inspired ,and energetic enough to continue that fight. My birthday is at the end of October. I have a grandchild on the way. My moms birthday is tomorrow. Shout out to my sister Devon, who's birthday is today. I am going to look forward to those things. And to all of those who are homeless, keep going. Eventually things are going to get better. More people who have an abundance of things are going to begin trading receiving for giving, vanity for truth , and money for value.
I don't care what time or date it is. I am going to get some food and spend time with my family. I love you. Peace.
-Kyle
I just got back from spending 10 days in Los Angeles. This trip gave me a breakthrough. The one I needed. I really needed to understand that nobody cares. Forget about me. Forget about you. Forget about cancer. People like you and me and with cancer that are reading this have places to sleep. Homeless people do not have places to sleep. I have social security, a gym membership, and my health. I have been homeless. While I am in Pennsylvania, I have a place to sleep. I am a California resident though , due to my medical needs. When I am in California, I am really homeless. I was really homeless for these last 10 days. I really slept outside of UCLA Health Center on Lincoln BLVD in Marina Del Rey. I really go to St Joseph's Homeless Center every day to get my mail. I really go to Bread and Roses to eat every day. I have checked in to those places over 300+ times in the last 3 years. I really walk until I get blisters on my feet. After I sit and pop the blisters, I get up and keep walking. I break my root chakra on purpose, and then let it heal. I walked an unthinkable amount of miles in the last 10 days. I needed to be around the worst of the worst, and away from people who need attention. While I was in LA, I intentionally went to the hood and sat in piss and garbage with Papi. Yes I am getting ignored for publishing 5 books, knowing the cure to cancer, blah blah blah... but this grown man is constantly being ignored for literally living in piss and garbage. Like, Mr. Hildago has a name, story, and a REAL need for attention. I don't really care about your Ferrari , your resume , what you are wearing, what you look like, or what you are financially worth. I am not giving it any of my attention. Mr. Hildago needs to be loved. He needs my attention. He and other homeless people need the attention of us all. Just by me giving him attention , he feels love. He doesn't even speak English , and I barely speak Spanish. He just sits and swats flies, and I just sit and smoke weed. My point is, my life is ok. Seeing how homeless people still live and remembering really being homeless for some time in LA gave me the breakthrough of perspective that I needed. I am no longer going to complain about not being heard about knowing the cure to cancer, even though cancer patients still need help. I am just going to continue living my life. The reception I received from drops and drips is making me smile right now like I haven't smiled in a while. People love the books. I have been writing for my entire life, and only have 5 books. I only release books that I feel are necessary. drops and drips are definitely necessary. This recent trip to LA solidified my position as an author. People really, really, really, love drops and drips. Then I pull the other 3 of my books out my bag, and things really get interesting. The staff at Bread and Roses are LMU graduate school volunteers, and they all feel sorry for me because they understand my conceptualization of the cure to cancer, see my books, see and hear me speak, understand systematic oppression, and understand that I am being ostracized by society because what I know shuts big pharma down. They are almost embarrassed to give me my food and pour my drink, because they know that I shouldn't be there. I have to be there though. I have to be an author that is seen being ignored by the system by young LMU students, social service workers, and people of society. When I went to get my EBT card, the service worker felt my pain. That was a down moment for me, even though I am better now. Being ignored for knowing the cure to cancer hurts. Having to get EBT, be homeless, and do all of this stuff is not fun. I am very tired. Even though I only got $14.00 of EBT a month, I was grateful for that. I used it all. With all of that being said, I am going to continue listening to what Jeremy tells me. Slow down. Keep living slow. I am going to do just that. I am going to keep things in perspective , and be grateful for my health. I am going to just hang out with my family for a while. I have done my due diligence as a cancer advocate. I am passed that. The people in power all know the cure. They are going to release it on their terms, if at all. The system will not be taken down alone by me. I am done with the fight. Maybe the LMU students and other people who have my work will be invigorated, inspired ,and energetic enough to continue that fight. My birthday is at the end of October. I have a grandchild on the way. My moms birthday is tomorrow. Shout out to my sister Devon, who's birthday is today. I am going to look forward to those things. And to all of those who are homeless, keep going. Eventually things are going to get better. More people who have an abundance of things are going to begin trading receiving for giving, vanity for truth , and money for value.
I don't care what time or date it is. I am going to get some food and spend time with my family. I love you. Peace.
-Kyle
