We met while dancing on the beach. We started to do the Kid and Play without planning it. She had amazing energy, a playful spirit, and a beautiful smile.
After the music ended, we engaged in conversation. I told her I was homeless. I told her I had cancer. I told her I cheated on the woman I loved more than anything in the world.
What did she do?
She smiled.
She smiled?
Yes... she smiled.
She appreciated my honesty.
She told me that most men attempt to impress with her with their money, their career, or their social status.
You know what was dope?
She didn't try to impress me with any of that either.
She told me that she was a teacher.
She didn't tell me that she was a professor at USC though.
She told me she had her own business.
She didn't tell me that her business served thousands of kids throughout Southern California each year though.
She told me she danced.
She didn't tell me that she was literally one of the best dancers in the world though.
She was thorough and humble.
Neat.
I thought that was it.
I had to take a shit, and I wanted to make it to the grocery store before it closed. I took a shit in my van before, and I accidentally shit on my leg. I didn't want any issues tonight.
With that in mind, I began to grab my stuff.
As I was about to leave, she asked me how we were going to keep in touch.
Huh?
Keep in touch?
We had fun dancing... there was no doubt about that. Other than that, I didn't have anything else to give.
I was homeless. I had 14 dollars to my name. I lived in a van that I bought from someone who lived in Canada for 100 dollars and a bluetooth speaker. The registration was expired, and it was all types of illegal.
The brakes on the van eventually stopped working. I crashed it into the back of a Lexus once. Sorry.(There was no damage to the Lexus by the way)
I used to have to move it across the street at least once a week. I had this 60-something year old OG I met at the homeless shelter help me move the van.
The gentleman that would help me move my van was a straight up gangster. He told me about his prison bids, showed me his bullet wounds, and told me how GOD saved his life. That is how we connected. We used to chop it up before we got our mail, showers, and meals.
He would put on his shades, light his cigarette, and drive the van while using his feet as the brake. I don't know how he did it, but he always got it in a parking space on the other side of the street. He was a lifesaver, and I am grateful for that.
Despite my living situation and many more issues, she told me that she liked my energy, appreciated my honesty, and just wanted to be friends.
Ok.
That's cool.
So I gave her my phone number, and thought that would be it. There was no way a person with all of that going for her would really want to keep in touch with a guy in my situation.
A few days later, I received a text message from a California number.
It was her.
She thanked me for not only having fun, but for being so respectful to her while doing so.
She sent an emoji too, but I couldn't tell what it was. She had an iPhone and I had an Obama phone, and there was some miscommunication between the two. I am pretty sure the issues were on my end.
Anyway...
We engaged in some conversation, and then she had to go. It was cool.
After a few other text message conversations, we decided to meet up for lunch.
Ok.
I had to devise a plan. I think I had about 26 dollars that day. If I bought a cheap lunch, that could get me through the time we would spend together.
I went to a grocery store called Ralph's and bought hummus and jalapeño bread(it was in that clearance rack in the back). I then went to the dollar store and bought cheese, baby food(I know... what the FUCK), and some seaweed strip things. I had a big bottle of Alkaline water that I filled up with tap water at Cairo Cowboy.
I know she looked at me like I was crazy when she saw what I brought.
Despite that, she laughed it off and stayed.
We sat on a hill in the center of Venice Beach. You could see both the basketball courts and the ocean, so I was good. If this went bad early, I had an abundance of exit strategies ready to go.
Four hours later, we looked down at our phones and realized that we were talking for 4 hours. The conversation just flowed. We were both saying specific words like vulnerability, pain, expression, truth, freedom, love, fear, passion, energy, balance... among others. We both had gotten to points in our lives where some serious soul searching was occurring, so we were kind of speaking the same language. I was like I was talking about myself through her.
I told her my ugliest and dirtiest truth. I told her about the blog, and how I confessed all of my sins publicly. I told her about the lying, the cheating, and pain that I caused so many people to endure.
Even despite that, she stayed.
We talked about my inner child issues. She too has a background in psychology, so she understood how the relationships in my early stages of development affected my personality and behavior as a man. She respected the fact that I got to a point where I understood and was trying to break those patterns.
I also got to learn a lot about her during the conversation.
When she talked, her tone was always positive. She was always smiling. Her body language was light, and her eyes were always optimistic. It was like she was celebrating her dreams as she envisioned and spoke about them.
Dope.
When she talked in detail about her dreams, I realized she dreamed BIG. She was talking about changing CULTURE and changing PARADIGMS. She also had the career and business to back it up.
I loved it.
The talk wasn't all business. We chopped it up too! She talked about her love for hip hop music. She talked about hearing rap at an assembly at school when she was in the 6th grade. She talked about her rapping the song "Supersonic" in her room. She talked about how she just loved to dance, engage in conversation, and spend time with friends.
Since it had been four hours since the beginning of our conversation, we decided to take a walk.
We walked a few minutes to the Venice Beach Drum Circle... a place where people from all walks of life routinely play instruments, dance, and have a good time.
Right when we got there, she started dancing. Her energy and expression elevated the energy of everyone else that was there. She was dancing with men, women, and children of all ages.
I danced for a while, but I couldn't keep up. I actually liked watching her dance more anyway. It was fun watching people feed off of her energy.
She danced until the sunset.
After the drum circle ended, she asked me if she wanted to go eat.
We decided to get pizza.
Well... we really didn't decide to get pizza. I kind of pushed for it. The reason I pushed for it was because I had like 15 dollars left on my EBT card, and that was just enough to pay for something for the both of us.
I ended up using my Obama phone to pay for the pizza. We then walked to Pizza Hut, got the pizza, and sat at the intersection of Lincoln and California to eat our food.
I got a little emotional at this point.
This was the spot where I did a lot of my reflection. I again talked about how much I missed my family, my ex, and my city. Whether I talked, laughed, or cried... she listened.
Even after seeing and hearing all of that, she stayed.
She felt the sincerity in my voice. I admitted that I was an imperfect human that made some mistakes. She could tell that I was trying to be better. She again respected me for expressing myself.
After we finished eating, I walked her to her car. We said our goodbyes. We ended up spending 9 hours together that day.
After that, we began to text more frequently. We hung out more. Even though she was super busy, she made time for me.
Over time, our relationship evolved.
That leads us into today.
We pray every morning. We eat breakfast every morning. We respectfully challenge each other. We have fun together. We share moments of love all throughout the day.
She listens. She wants my input and my opinion. She respects and even sometimes implements my ideas in very important instances. She is strong and soft... fierce and kind... purposefully and playful.
She believes in me. She encourages me to follow my dreams and be the best version of myself. She also understands that I am still in transition, and that there may be some issues along the way.
I wrote this in an effort to show gratitude. I am grateful for our communication, fun, and love. It is truly a pleasure being in your life.
Happy Birthday Tiff 🙂
