It is Friday, May 3, 2019... at 5:30 am.
I am sitting in the basement. Everyone in the house is asleep. I just came inside from a walk. I figured I would do some writing before I take Trell to school and go to the gym.
I really love history.
I have always been interested in it.
I remember having an Encyclopedia Britanica set before my first day of school. I remember seeing the Space Shuttle Challenger explode while sitting indian style on the classroom floor when I was in the first grade. I remember being in 5th grade when Desert Storm began. I remember being in chemistry class in 10th grade when the OJ verdict was announced. I remember text messaging my girlfriend in between playing the game Snake on my Nokia 3390 at 8:45am on the morning of 9/11/01 while I was at work. I remember watching Zietgest on my home Dell computer at 4am while also watching my son sleep on the couch and my daughter sleep in her swing. I remember the night when Trump won. I remember cancer.
It is now May 3, 2019. It is scary to even say that. This is where we are though. The past is history.
I have let go of my past. I want new shoes. I want new experiences. I want new money, new fun, and new love. I don't want to continue reliving my past, my parents past, or the past of previous generations.
I got really close to death. It is scary for me to even say that. I had to let go of my ego. I had to let go of my fear. I had to tell the truth about my past in order to free my mind and have a chance for a future. I had to face the truth about the lies that I told myself and forced myself to believe to be true for my entire life. That is scary. I then had to tell the truth about those lies. That was the scariest. That was the death of my ego. That was also the death of my cancer, and the rebirth of my health.
That is what it took for me to have more life. That is what it took for me to appreciate everything about every day. I had to look death directly in the face in order to bring myself back to life.
Again, it is now May 3, 2019. Facebook just banned Louis Farrakhan, Alex Jones, and a bunch of other outspoken figures due to their extremist opinions. I really don't have an opinion on that. I just figured I would post it since it is a current event.
Today I am not going to worry about the past. Today I am not going to worry about the internet. Today I am not going to worry about space. Today I am not going to worry about war, murder, technology, politics, or cancer.
Today I am going to ride my bike. Today I am going to go to the park. Today I am going to go to the gym. Today I am going to hang out with my friends and family in comfortable spaces. Today I am going to eat good food, listen to good music, relax, smoke, and chill. Today I am going to continue just being history.
Being in public is really difficult for me, but today I am going to do it. I have to keep letting people ignore me, my work, and my results... while I continuosly produce better results than those people. I have to continue to be polite, patient, and welcoming. I have to continue to remain poised. I am in a position where time is on my side. I have already weathered the hardest part of the storm. The hardest part of my work is done. I have figured out how to stay healthy. I published a book that is the blueprint to cure to all cancer. I now have to patiently wait out what should be a difficult final stretch in a worldwide paradigm shift.
I am going to.
It is now 6:35am. My laptop screen is still really messed up, but that is ok. I just received a neat little folding bluetooth keyboard that I am excited to use with my tablet. I am excited to use them both in an attempt to make new history... or maybe just to make new fun things.
We will see.
Peace.
Love,
Kyle
