Wednesday, November 7, 2018
Friday, November 2, 2018
It is Thursday, November 1st, 2018, at 1:40 pm. I am babysitting Tristan and watching Paw Patrol. I just got back from eating at the diner with Josh and Shannon. Before that, we were all at the gym.
I am chilling. Life is ok. I have gotten through a lot, and feel like I am in a good flow.
This morning I woke up to really bad news. Opening up to myself in this space is one of the ways I help release emotion that I need get out.
Every day I hear about death. One day it is a mass shooting. One day it is disease. One day it is an accident. One day it is suicide. I could keep going, but I think you get the point.
Every morning that I wake up, I face my own death. I put myself back into the mental space of the moment prior to my lung cancer surgery... a surgery that I was told that I would potentially not make it out of.
Every time that I have woken up from a night, a nap, or a nod-off since I woke up from my surgery... I have woken up with a fresh boyish exuberance. Like I am so grateful and so giddy to wake up every morning without experiencing any pain. I love being able to simply listen, feel, smell, touch, and taste. I have an enormous amount of gratitude for every drop of water that I drink and every bite of food that I eat. I am so grateful to have the potential to create love, art, and many other forms of inspiration for people, with people, and for myself... every. single. day. I could keep going, but I think you get the point.
I am just genuinely happy to be alive.
I was scheduled to receive a PET Scan today at USC's Radiology Center. I decided not to undergo the procedure. I did not go.
The reason I did not go because I was afraid.
The doctors wanted to give me an IV, iodine, and a solution called Fluorine-18. They wanted to put all of that inside of my body. They then wanted to put my body inside of a machine so they could scan it. That scan would then determine if I had any cancer in my body.
I am going to be completely honest.... I am afraid to put myself back into the current medical system. I am afraid to put my body in the hands of people that cannot tell me why I had cancer, and cannot tell me how to heal from cancer. I am afraid of completing any treatment recommendations, doing any body scans, or putting anything in my body that is a product of the current system. I am afraid of putting myself and my body back into a system that has not only failed myself, but has failed multiple other people for as long as cancer has been a disease and the current protocols have been in place.
I woke up from my initial biopsy with stitcthes on the roof of my mouth that I should not have had. The chemo/radiation regimen that I endured failed. None of the medicine the doctors prescribed me took away my pain, or my cancer.
Nothing the system did for my cancer has helped me.
I went on to research how opioids became the standard of care. I went on to research why plant based medicine was made illegal.
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/10/30/the-family-that-built-an-empire-of-pain
https://www.businessinsider.com/racist-origins-marijuana-prohibition-legalization-2018-2
All of that has been documented on this space. I am legitimately afraid of what could potentially go wrong next by putting myself back into that system.
Here is the thing... I might continue to use the system as an option if I did not know why I had cancer, or couldn't explain why I am still alive today after being told I had one(1) year to live... two(2) years ago this month. After researching, enduring, and comparing multiple lived treatment experiences of my own, I feel like I have learned enough about cancer to now be able to explain why I got it, as well as why I continue to stay healthy... despite being told I had one year to live... two years ago this month.
I wrote two(2) books about how I healed from cancer. I do not want to make this post about the books, even though I will talk about them later. While writing the books and continuing to understand what happened to me, I came up with a quicker way of explaining both what cancer is, and how to continuously remove it from my body.
The key to helping me understanding all of this?
The first two questions that GOD spoke in the bible.
I had never read the bible... up until a month ago. Even then I only finished the first few paragraphs of Genesis. I'm not going to explain why I did not keep going. All I will say is that the bible is a really neat book.
I am not religious. I am not Christian. I definitely do believe in GOD though.
The first two(2) questions in The Bible are...
"Where are you?"
AND
"What are you?"
The second question is what really jumped out at me.
I know that I am a human named Kyle Kostic.
That makes me who I am.
But really... what am I?
I am a human.
Ok.
But what is a human?
When broken down... all humans consist of the elements below:
I am chilling. Life is ok. I have gotten through a lot, and feel like I am in a good flow.
This morning I woke up to really bad news. Opening up to myself in this space is one of the ways I help release emotion that I need get out.
Every day I hear about death. One day it is a mass shooting. One day it is disease. One day it is an accident. One day it is suicide. I could keep going, but I think you get the point.
Every morning that I wake up, I face my own death. I put myself back into the mental space of the moment prior to my lung cancer surgery... a surgery that I was told that I would potentially not make it out of.
Every time that I have woken up from a night, a nap, or a nod-off since I woke up from my surgery... I have woken up with a fresh boyish exuberance. Like I am so grateful and so giddy to wake up every morning without experiencing any pain. I love being able to simply listen, feel, smell, touch, and taste. I have an enormous amount of gratitude for every drop of water that I drink and every bite of food that I eat. I am so grateful to have the potential to create love, art, and many other forms of inspiration for people, with people, and for myself... every. single. day. I could keep going, but I think you get the point.
I am just genuinely happy to be alive.
I was scheduled to receive a PET Scan today at USC's Radiology Center. I decided not to undergo the procedure. I did not go.
The reason I did not go because I was afraid.
The doctors wanted to give me an IV, iodine, and a solution called Fluorine-18. They wanted to put all of that inside of my body. They then wanted to put my body inside of a machine so they could scan it. That scan would then determine if I had any cancer in my body.
I am going to be completely honest.... I am afraid to put myself back into the current medical system. I am afraid to put my body in the hands of people that cannot tell me why I had cancer, and cannot tell me how to heal from cancer. I am afraid of completing any treatment recommendations, doing any body scans, or putting anything in my body that is a product of the current system. I am afraid of putting myself and my body back into a system that has not only failed myself, but has failed multiple other people for as long as cancer has been a disease and the current protocols have been in place.
I woke up from my initial biopsy with stitcthes on the roof of my mouth that I should not have had. The chemo/radiation regimen that I endured failed. None of the medicine the doctors prescribed me took away my pain, or my cancer.
Nothing the system did for my cancer has helped me.
I went on to research how opioids became the standard of care. I went on to research why plant based medicine was made illegal.
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/10/30/the-family-that-built-an-empire-of-pain
https://www.businessinsider.com/racist-origins-marijuana-prohibition-legalization-2018-2
All of that has been documented on this space. I am legitimately afraid of what could potentially go wrong next by putting myself back into that system.
Here is the thing... I might continue to use the system as an option if I did not know why I had cancer, or couldn't explain why I am still alive today after being told I had one(1) year to live... two(2) years ago this month. After researching, enduring, and comparing multiple lived treatment experiences of my own, I feel like I have learned enough about cancer to now be able to explain why I got it, as well as why I continue to stay healthy... despite being told I had one year to live... two years ago this month.
I wrote two(2) books about how I healed from cancer. I do not want to make this post about the books, even though I will talk about them later. While writing the books and continuing to understand what happened to me, I came up with a quicker way of explaining both what cancer is, and how to continuously remove it from my body.
The key to helping me understanding all of this?
The first two questions that GOD spoke in the bible.
I had never read the bible... up until a month ago. Even then I only finished the first few paragraphs of Genesis. I'm not going to explain why I did not keep going. All I will say is that the bible is a really neat book.
I am not religious. I am not Christian. I definitely do believe in GOD though.
The first two(2) questions in The Bible are...
"Where are you?"
AND
"What are you?"
The second question is what really jumped out at me.
I know that I am a human named Kyle Kostic.
That makes me who I am.
But really... what am I?
I am a human.
Ok.
But what is a human?
When broken down... all humans consist of the elements below:
So broken down... all humans consist of mostly oxygen.
What is oxygen?
Oxygen is air.
What is air?
Air is water.
So to answer God's second question... in it's simplest form...
I am predomniately water.
...
After I grasped that, I applied that to what I knew about water.
In doing my research on cancer, I came across the work of Dr. Masaru Emoto. In short, Dr. Emoto conducted a series of experiments that concluded that water holds emotion, and that human consciousness has an effect on the emotion that the water holds. Below is a 1 minute 21 second video that simply conceptualizes this:
After coming to an understanding of the information presented in the video, it helped me expound on my answer to God's second question:
I am predominately water.
Water holds emotion.
So... "What am I?"
I am a container for emotion.
...
Once I realized what my body was composed of the most, I thought about what my body did the most..
Simply put, the thing I do more than anything is breathe.
I breathe for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
I then started doing correlations:
What is breath?
breath = air
What is air?
air = water
What is water?
water = emotion
Simply put...
I breathe for my entire life, so I am literally internalizing and externalizing water for my entire life.
Simply put...
I breathe for my entire life, so I am literally internalizing and externalizing emotion for my entire life.
...
Got it.
I then applied those concepts to my cancer.
In my books I explain how one(1) psychosomatic symptom was the cause of me living my life in fear, becoming an introvert, and was the ultimate cause of my cancer. I also explain how that moment changed my perception, and perpetuated more fear throughout my entire life.
I then did the correlations:
psychosomatic symptom = internalized emotion of fear
internalized emotion of fear = internalized water
more fear = more negative emotion
more internalized fear = more internalized negative water
Simply put...
If I internalize negative emotion for my entire life, I internalize negative water for my entire life.
...
I then applied the internalizing of my emotions to the chakras.
If I continuously internalize one emotion, that emotion would continuously flow into the body through the same chakra.
I then did the correlations:
water = emotion
my cancer = throat chakra issues
throat chakra issues = issues with communication, expression, and the truth
issues with communication, expression, and the truth = Kyle Kostic
Simply put...
If I continuously lie, I continuously internalize that same type of water, and that water would continuously flow into the body into the same space through the same chakra.
...
I then did the psychological correlations with Dr. Emoto's findings on water
psychosomatic symptom = suppressed/ignored thought
suppressed/ ignored thoughts = suppressed/ignored water
As shown in the Dr. Emoto video above, ignored water eventually rots.
I continuosly ignored a psychosomatic symptom(s) in my brain for over 30 years.
I continuosly ignored a specific type of water in my body for over 30 years.
That specific type of water was continuosly filtered to a continoulsy growing hidden space in my neck through my throat chakra.
That ignored water eventually rotted in my neck.
That ingnored water eventually turned into ice... because it was not being accessed by the heat/light/awarness inside of me.
Simply put...
cancer tumors = rotted ice
...
My first cancer syptom was an earache. The reason why I had an earache was because a ball of ice formed in my neck. That ball of ice was literally a ball full of lies. That ice was piercing a nerve in my neck that travelled up to my ear. That ice eventually spread to my neck, back of my throat, and my teeth.
Now... what did chemotherapy and radiation do?
It broke the ice inside of my neck, and turned it into water.
What was the result?
The tumor from my neck was gone... but the rotted water was redispersed throughout my body.
It started as Lymphedema... which is the swelling of the neck. Below is a before and after example of a gentleman with lymphodema.
My neck looked like the neck of this gentleman soon after chemotherapy and radiation concluded. The buldge in my neck was the result of the dispersment of negative emotion... or the water that was the result of the melted ice. That water eventually travelled all throughout my body, effecting all of my emotions. That is why my cancer metastacized to my bloodstream. The negative water dispersment/cancer process had polluted all of my emotions. I also continuolsy lied about my relationship... which is why I developed lung cancer and a ball of ice in my lung. My continued negativity kept making things worse.
...
I then applied all of this information to me.
How would I die from cancer?
If my body consists of 65-70 percent water, that means my organs and bones consist of the other 30-35 percent.
Ice is really hard, and can be really sharp.
I then thought about ice continuosly growing in my body, and the damage that it can do to all my internal organs as the ice grows.
That is how I would die from cancer.
The ice would eventually pierce my organs... ending my life from the insde out.
...
Once I came to this understanding, I then tried to reverse engineer my imminent death.
How do I remove ice in my body?
I first had to melt it.
How do you melt ice in the body?
Heat.
I then thought about the first question God asked:
"Where are you?"
I am on earth.
But really... what is earth?
Earth is comprised of trees, water, air, and fire.
I then thought about what the healthiest, strongest, and longest living thing on the earth is:
The longest living thing on this earth is a tree.
I then thought about what trees do all day.
Trees continuosly absorb air all day.
I then did the correlations:
Air = Water
Water = Emotion
Trees absorb air = Trees absorb emotion
Trees absorb light, and perform photosynthesis on earth = trees would absorb light, and perform photosynthesis(meditation) in my body
Trees absorb water on earth = trees would absord water I injested in my body.
If trees continuosly absorb water on earth... if I put a tree in my body... it should continuosly absorb water inside of my body.
If the sun, trees, and water performed photosynthesis on earth and released oxygen as a result... maybe my pineal gland(sun), nuerotransmitters(trees), and water(emotion) could perform meditation(photosynthesis) inside of my body... and the result would be released negative emotion from my body.
Fuck it. Lets give it a shot.
That resulted into this(from my book)...
My body literally completed photosynthesis by means of meditation.
My light viewed the dirty water, and filtered the dirty from the clean.
My awareness viewed ny negative emotion, and filtered the bad from the good.
My body then released that dirty water by urinating, having bowel movements, crying, sweating, and throwing up my dirty water.
My body then released that emotion by urinating(releasing water/cancer), having bowel movements( releasing hard rotted water/cancer), crying( releasing emotion), sweating( releasing emotion), and speaking my truth about my negative emotions/experiences, and actions.
The urinating, bowel movements, crying, and sweating moved the water slowly.
Throwing up and expressing myself moved the emotion in one wave.
The moment that literal wave of emotion left my body, I intuitively knew that I was ok.
I had never felt any more free.
...
To put things in persepective... that was 20 months ago. That was 4 months into my one(1) year to live. Yet here I am sitting here in the best shape of my life, like nothing ever happened.
That is a good thing. I want to feel normal. I want to be normal. I am normal. I just keep coming back to this space because I genuinely believe that I can help others. I try to explain how I healed to others in multiple ways, so they too can heal themselves. It is my hope that these words reach the right people, because these words have the right intentions.
With that being said, I just published my third book... "the death of a cancer patient ii."
This version is told in a different way, and provides a different prespective for the reader than part I. It is the contrast to the clarity that I attempted to provide in part I. Both part I and part ii can be read, enjoyed, and provide value on their own. They become an entirely different thing when put together, which makes having them together really neat.
The book is available for $1.00 on the amazon kindle app, and $4.88 on the amazon website. I do not make any money off of the sales of this version. I made this version available at the lowest cost possible, because I wanted to detach myself from the story and give what I felt like is a legitimate option in comparision to what our healthcare system currently provides. This is all about spreading the information. The link to my both of my books is below.
To bring everything together... I have been dealing with cancer since June of 2015. We are less than two months away from 2019. Canada just legalized marijuana for the entire country. Medical marijuana is now legal in 30 states. I lived in California for almost two years... and was at the forefront of a paradigm shift in this country in an effort to save my own life. I have two published books explaining how I got cancer, and how I healed from cancer. This post provides a different perspective using nature and the bible. I have learned a lot about this. If anyone wants it, they can have it. If nobody wants it, I will not force it on them.
This information will always be available on this blog for free. Unlike in my past, I am not going to stress myself out trying to share this information. I am going to continue to do my due diligence, and continue to try to provide what I have learned through my lived experieince in an effort to help others. The people that are ready to receive it will. It will always remain open to everyone else as needed.
If you got this far, I thank you. The intention of this post was to provide value to others. I hope it has been received.
I am now going to go for a walk... and contemplete the first question that God asked in the bible.
"Where am I?"
If water is emotion inside of my body, what does that mean about the water outside of my body?
What is a cloud?
A snowflake?
Ice?
...
I really do love all of you.
Talk to you soon.
-Kyle.
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