It is Wednesday, October 16, 2019, at 11:27 pm. My son is having a baby in a few months. Basketball season is almost here. My birthday is coming up soon. I have a lot to look forward to.

Below is Chapter 7 of the upcoming audiobook that I co-authored entitled... "HIStory: The Life and Times of Bernie Durant." In this chapter, Mr. Durant explains in detail how he as a Quality Control Engineer working at Western Electric in the early 1960's overcame many trials and tribulations to become the first African American home owner in the history of the city of Allentown, PA. Mr. Durant was my friend, my mentor, and almost like my father. We were just about finished writing his autobiography before he passed away in 2014. Rather than me completing just his physical book, having an audiobook and hearing him tell his story seemed appropriate in this new digital age.

Full audiobook coming soon.

Enjoy 🖤

Chapter 7: House

It is Thursday, October 3rd, 2019.

Let me repeat that.

It is Thursday, October 3rd, 2019.

We are less than three months away from the year 2020.

That is actually kind of scary.

On May 31, 2018, I published the book "The DEATH OF a CANCER patient."

That book is the cure to all cancer.

That is actually kind of scary.

That was seventeen months ago.

To myself, there was never an issue of if the book was going to age well. Once I finished the book, I knew what I had. I knew that my book really was the cure to cancer. Once I realized that the book could literally be read and applied backwards to other people without me having to do anything but change certain sequences of the wording, I really knew what I had. That is what "the death of a cancer patient ii" is. When I finished writing part ii, I really knew that I had the cure to cancer.

My issue was always going to be acceptance. Generations of propaganda stigmatized marijuana. I knew that after figuring out the cure to all cancer included the once looked down upon but newly legal medical marijuana, getting people to accept that truth was going to be the real issue. For many years, the cure to all cancer sounded like something that was impossible. Convincing people that I figured out the impossible... in what would seem like an impossible way... seemed really impossible.

Seventeen months after publishing The DEATH OF a CANCER patient, the world is changing. The world is becoming more accepting of plants being medicine. It is slowly becoming very normal.

The world is also getting smarter. People are becoming more demanding. People are tired of giving to a system without receiving equal value. People are tired of paying for things that are more than they are worth. People are tired of being paid less than what they are worth.

People want the cure to cancer. People have invested enough of their hard earned money in an attempt to find a cure. People deserve a cure. As impossible as it once sounded, my books are the cure. I can no longer be afraid to say it. This blog chronicled my cancer journey since day 1. My books had to be the cure, and they really are.

Again, it is Thursday, October 3rd, 2019.

Again, that is actually kind of scary.

I have no idea what it going to happen next. My entire infrastructure is set up. My blog is thorough, my books are complete, and my body and mind are as healthy as can be. My books are in the hands of very well respected doctors, psychologists, and businesses around the world. Someone very important and very influential is eventually going to validate me, and the cure to cancer is eventually going to be accepted. My only question is when, and how. Will I get a phone call in 5 minutes that will change my life? Will I verbally explain the cure to cancer in front of doctors, psychologists, businesses, a really big crowd, cancer patients, and the media?

I am not sure what is going to happen. All I know that is something is going to eventually happen. I understand that all I have to do at this point is stay patient, poised, and purposeful.

It is now Thursday, October 3, 2019, at 10:47am. I am sitting in the lounge of a hostel in downtown New Orleans. They play really soulful music here for 24 hours. I am eating a ham, egg, and cheese 'crousandwich that I made from the open breakfast bar. I am drinking an orange juice and a coffee. My roommates are really nice. The room is really clean. I am about to go to a thrift shop down the street, get a smoothie, and go for a casual stroll in a quiet neighborhood. I am going to read my poetry at an open mic night tonight. Maybe my phone will finally ring, the phone call or email I have been waiting for will happen, and my life will finally change. Maybe it won't. All I know is that whatever happens next, I will be fully prepared for it.

Peace.

kyle j. kostic

It is September 15 , 2019 at 3:57 pm. The Patriots are beating the Dolphins 37-0. I didn't even know it was football season , let alone week 2. I have been really focused on work. 

I just got back from spending 10 days in Los Angeles. This trip gave me a breakthrough. The one I needed. I really needed to understand that nobody cares. Forget about me. Forget about you. Forget about cancer. People like you and me and with cancer that are reading this have places to sleep. Homeless people do not have places to sleep. I have social security, a gym membership, and my health. I have been homeless. While I am in Pennsylvania, I have a place to sleep. I am a California resident though , due to my medical needs. When I am in California, I am really homeless. I was really homeless for these last 10 days. I really slept outside of UCLA Health Center on Lincoln BLVD in Marina Del Rey. I really go to St Joseph's Homeless Center every day to get my mail. I really go to Bread and Roses to eat every day. I have checked in to those places over 300+ times in the last 3 years. I really walk until I get blisters on my feet. After I sit and pop the blisters, I get up and keep walking. I break my root chakra on purpose, and then let it heal. I walked an unthinkable amount of miles in the last 10 days. I needed to be around the worst of the worst, and away from people who need attention. While I was in LA, I intentionally went to the hood and sat in piss and garbage with Papi. Yes I am getting ignored for publishing 5 books, knowing the cure to cancer, blah blah blah... but this grown man is constantly being ignored for literally living in piss and garbage. Like, Mr. Hildago has a name, story, and a REAL need for attention. I don't really care about your Ferrari , your resume , what you are wearing, what you look like, or what you are financially worth. I am not giving it any of my attention. Mr. Hildago needs to be loved. He needs my attention. He and other homeless people need the attention of us all. Just by me giving him attention , he feels love. He doesn't even speak English , and I barely speak Spanish. He just sits and swats flies, and I just sit and smoke weed. My point is, my life is ok. Seeing how homeless people still live and remembering really being homeless for some time in LA gave me the breakthrough of perspective that I needed. I am no longer going to complain about not being heard about knowing the cure to cancer, even though cancer patients still need help. I am just going to continue living my life. The reception I received from drops and drips is making me smile right now like I haven't smiled in a while. People love the books. I have been writing for my entire life, and only have 5 books. I only release books that I feel are necessary. drops and drips are definitely necessary. This recent trip to LA solidified my position as an author. People really, really, really, love drops and drips. Then I pull the other 3 of my books out my bag, and things really get interesting. The staff at Bread and Roses are LMU graduate school volunteers, and they all feel sorry for me because they understand my conceptualization of the cure to cancer, see my books, see and hear me speak, understand systematic oppression, and understand that I am being ostracized by society because what I know shuts big pharma down. They are almost embarrassed to give me my food and pour my drink, because they know that I shouldn't be there. I have to be there though. I have to be an author that is seen being ignored by the system by young LMU students, social service workers, and people of society. When I went to get my EBT card, the service worker felt my pain. That was a down moment for me, even though I am better now. Being ignored for knowing the cure to cancer hurts. Having to get EBT, be homeless, and do all of this stuff is not fun. I am very tired. Even though I only got $14.00 of EBT a month, I was grateful for that. I used it all. With all of that being said, I am going to continue listening to what Jeremy tells me. Slow down. Keep living slow. I am going to do just that. I am going to keep things in perspective , and be grateful for my health. I am going to just hang out with my family for a while. I have done my due diligence as a cancer advocate. I am passed that. The people in power all know the cure. They are going to release it on their terms, if at all. The system will not be taken down alone by me. I am done with the fight. Maybe the LMU students and other people who have my work will be invigorated, inspired ,and energetic enough to continue that fight. My birthday is at the end of October. I have a grandchild on the way. My moms birthday is tomorrow. Shout out to my sister Devon, who's birthday is today. I am going to look forward to those things. And to all of those who are homeless, keep going. Eventually things are going to get better. More people who have an abundance of things are going to begin trading receiving for giving, vanity for truth , and money for value.

I don't care what time or date it is. I am going to get some food and spend time with my family. I love you. Peace. 

-Kyle 

...

8/21/19

8/12/19

7/21/19

While I have been grateful for the opportunity to exhibit patience ... cancer patients everywhere are still dying every day. After my genuine , consistent , and continuous cries for help ... cancer patients are still not being given adequate and proper treatment. I have provided the answer for the cure to all cancer and lived it in front of everyone ... but am being intentionally ignored by the same people and same businesses that were once so close to me , so embedded in my life , and were once seemingly so willing to help me. I am thinking about what those peoples true intentions always were. I am thinking about how I am ready to continue to exhibit as much patience as necessary in order for my voice to be heard. I am thinking about how I am prepared to be continuously ignored. I am thinking about how I am going to remain optimistic about the cure to cancer finally being shared with the masses ... no matter how long it takes. I understand that the longer this plays out ... the less validity that the people and businesses that were once so close to me , so embedded in my life , and were once so seemingly willing to help me and my cause will have. Revisionist history will eventually reveal the truth about those evil people and those manipulative businesses ... and I am ok with that. The masses are eventually going to understand what I have been able to conceptualize both about cancer , and about business. In the meantime ... cancer patients ... real people ... are still dying ... daily ... because of money.

NASA

The word NASA is derived from the Hebrew word "Nawshaw" ... which means to lead astray , to delude , or to morally seduce. The red part of the NASA logo contains a serpents tongue ... because snakes are symbolic of deception. Look at my post above this one for a visual example. The founder of NASA was a Nazi named Werner Von Braun. On his tombstone is Psalms 19:1 ... which in the Bible states ... "The heavens declare the glory of GOD; and the Firmament sheath his handiwork." His tombstone is a confession that he was a liar. The Firmament ... as described in the Bible ... is the ice dome that all humans are incased in ... which separates the waters from the waters. That is why when you look into a lake , you see reflections of trees. If there was no dome , there would be no reflection. The sun is the sum of all colors ... or the sum of our auras mixed together. Broken down ... the word "AURA" ... the AU in the periodic table ... stands for GOLD. The RA in the word Aura stands for the Egyptian GOD that personified the sun. The sun is the collective consciousness , GOLD is the sum of the colors of our auras ... and the sum of the Earth's auras are the sum of the Earth's emotions mixed together. We are our auras , we are the sun , and our light is part of the collective consciousness. Global warming is global consciousness getting smarter. Water holds emotion that is effected by consciousness ... both inside and outside of the body. Water is emotion ... or energy in motion. Consciousness is light ... or information. Humans are water and light. Humans are emotion and information. The earth is water and light. The earth is emotion and information. If humans do not access their emotion with their light , that water turns into ice. If humans do access their emotion with their light , that ice melts. If people do these simple correlations they will understand that Global Warming is the macrocosmic being that we are living in accessing and melting it's own emotion with it's own light. Global Warming is a good thing. NASA is trying to stop global warming , because they are part of the deception. Harvard is trying to block the sun and put fake ice on Antarctica , because they and the entire education system are a part of the deception. There is an Antarctica Treaty stopping anyone from going there ... because government is part of the deception. The light that humans have and demand would melt the ice. Broken down ... the word "governmental" means ... "govern the mental." There is no space. Everything is connected and one thing. Everything is just multidimensional. There is more water on the outside of the dome. The sun and moon are both incased inside of the dome. The moon is a piece of ice that is damaged. The moon is cancer. There is also a black sun that is rising. That symbol used to be represented worldwide by the swastika ... but was intentionally inverted by the Nazi's. The swastika is the Big Dipper constellation. The Big Dipper revolves around the star Polaris or North Star. The North Star is the brightest star in the sky , and the only star that does not move. The North Star is the source of energy for the macrocosmic being that we are living in. In the Bible , there was a really big flood. Global Warming is eventually going to cause another flood on Earth ... which is really going to be a big emotional release. It has all already been written. We are living in purgatory , in a net , and there is a plan (plan - net). We are living in Dante's Divine Comedy. This has all been a joke. The joke is about to be over for the real people who have real souls. There are a number of people on Earth who are simply not real ... but are here to test our moral compasses. Doomsday 2012 started a 7 year purging process , that is due to end during this Winter Solstice ... on 12/21/19. In 2020 ... the collective consciousness is going to break the ice wall and the world is going to go back to homeostasis. The living souls on Earth are not going to die.The 144,000 living souls needed to experience purgatory and time before experiencing bliss and forever. We are almost there. We were all always here for a reason. There is nothing to be afraid of. There never was. I have astral projected , left my body , and have been just my light. It was bliss. It was actually funny. Global Warming is a great thing. It is giving us information and making us smarter every day. It is melting away lies , and revealing truth. Let it burn.

7/10/19

7/8/19

6/21/19

I am thinking about how all of my friends are achieving their impossible dreams. I am thinking about when I will finally be acknowledged for persevering through what was was once thought to be an impossible nightmare. I am thinking about when I will finally be acknowledged as the author that lived through terminal cancer , conceptualized the cure to all cancer , and published the cure to all cancer. I am thinking about when my dream will finally come true.

6/21/19 9:42 pm

6/20/19

I am thinking about what I have to do for my cause to get the attention that it deserves. I am talking about cancer. I grew up with no dad. I have only met him three times. The first time I met my father , I was twenty-seven years old. I have forgiven him for the pain he caused my mother and I , because I understand that he was a black man that was a victim of the system. My mother and I grew up very poor. I remember at one point our rent was twenty-six dollars , because we were on welfare and subsidized housing. Despite being poor , my mother had enough resources to raise me into a gifted child upon entering kindergarten. I was always the best player on my baseball, basketball, and football teams. I was the pitcher, guard, and quarterback. My teams were always competitive. My teams have championships. I had a son at sixteen years old. I tried to sell drugs once, but my mom flushed the ounce of weed I was hiding in my ceiling down the toilet. She then decided to spank my very tough , smart , and athletic self. I never touched weed after that ... until over twenty years later when I was told I had terminal cancer. Despite having a son , I graduated high school. I was passed through because I was a star athlete. I skipped the entire eleventh grade. Nobody cared. Teachers would see me at McDonald's at noon with my jersey on and act like they didn't see me, because they wanted to see me play that night. I don't even remember the twelfth grade in the classroom , other than the water gun fight our teachers let us have on the last day. I never drank alcohol , smoked cigarettes , or partied in high school. I played sports , gambled , listened to music , and hung out with a special close few. It wasn't always safe outside. I have friends who were killed outside. I didn't want to go to college after high school because I didn't want to get a job. I saw how systems worked back then. I didn't want too much money. People with too much money get robbed where I am from. As long as I had enough money to do the things that I liked, I was always good. I didn't want to go to work from M-F from 9am to 5pm for the rest of my life. Does anyone want to work their life away? That is how a gifted child is supposed to think. I was smart enough and a patient enough gambler to know that I could flip my money at the casino. I snuck in and won money as a teenager. I ended up going to college anyway. I cried my entire first day because I was homesick. Basketball and the cafeteria kept me there for three years. I didn't drink , do drugs , or party in college. My urge to come home for more than weekends , holidays , and summers eventually became greater than my urge to finish school ... so I dropped out of college after my junior year. I then helped raise my son , got married , had a daughter ,  raised my family , coached basketball , played basketball , took trips , wrote a book , and just hung out with my family. I was fulfilled. I was an adult. Fortunately and unfortunately , my job location for over nine years closed down. I was forced to go back to school , because to every new company I was just another entry level employee with no degree. I went back to school for the knowledge , and the money. I got the knowledge this time. I was on the dean's list every semester until I graduated. I was my programs prize student. I then went on to work in a juvenile prison. I then went on to work as a case manager for children. I then went on to work in law enforcement. I excelled in all of those roles. I then got cancer. I had a huge event at William Allen High School to create awareness for myself , and my cause. Cancer. I covered it on my blog. Hundreds of tshirts with my name and cancer ribbons were given out. A bunch of sponsors names are on the back of those shirts. A multitude of different businesses were part of what was a really big event for a Stage IV Cancer patient. I could barely walk. I was one hundred and twenty-five pounds. I was in the middle of chemotherapy and radiation treatment. People cheered my name when they saw me. People cried when I spoke. I was given a journal that day. I was given a lot of love that day. I was given a lot of money that day. That was in September of 2015. I felt like a hometown hero. Unfortunately , the chemotherapy and radiation treatments failed. In November of 2016 , I was told that the cancer was in my lung and in my entire bloodstream. I was told that I had one year to live , and that I was going to die. I knew as a parent , son , man , gifted child , athlete , and college graduate ... I had to figure it out. I had to gamble. After surviving lung cancer surgery that I was told I may not wake up from , I had to step outside of the system , and do something new. I knew the system was leading me to death. I had to figure out the cure to cancer. A lot happened after my surgery. I took my children for a vacation across the country. I blogged it all. A lot more happened. I wrote about that too. To keep a long story short , I eventually published the book The DEATH OF a CANCER patient on May 31 , 2018. In my mind I was thinking that when I finished the book ... that my school , hospitals , businesses , everyone at my event , etc. etc. ... were going to literally take my book from my hand and immediately implement the method I used to heal , conceptualized , and articulated ... to every other cancer patient in the world. Yes I know how research , peer reviewed blah , blah , blah ... works. This was different. I was always different. I was always first , the leader , and the best. Simply put , all humans are the same. If you understand how to fix one cancer patient by using medical jargon , you can understand and explain how you can fix every cancer patient. I thought that considering my past resume , my assessed past intelligence , the fact that we were talking about terminal cancer , and the fact that I healed so well ... with an explanation ... that an immediate big response would be warranted by the powers that be. I have endured the struggles of my life before cancer. I then persevered through 3 Cisplatin chemotherapy treatments , 35 radiation treatments , the inside and outside of my throat being burned to black , no food or water for 8 months , pneumonia , various emergency room visits , appointments every day , all of BIG PHARMAS medicine , lung cancer , the death diagnosis , lung cancer surgery , the shame of revealing my truth , losing everything and everyone , homelessness , and threats to my life. I have done everything the right way. My son is 21 years old. He is a great kid, started varsity basketball , is a high school graduate , is a great boyfriend , has no kids , has a full time job , and has never been arrested. My daughter is gifted , athletic , etc. etc. etc. My children are a reflection of how I helped raise them , of their mothers , and of my character. My children and our relationships are a big part of my resume. The relationships with the mothers of my children are a big part of my resume. They are both very beautiful , loving , and respectful women and mothers. I am a dad , dad. I taught my kids the little things. I spent long days with them. I was at every big moment. I have never been arrested or in trouble with the law. My professional resume made me a lot of money , got me a lot of respect , and warranted a lot of attention ... before cancer. I have only strengthened it since then. Before cancer , I had one published book. I now have 5 published books. I have been very patient. I have had the best intentions. Meanwhile a lot of businesses that have been successfully unable to provide an answer to cancer patients continue to profit , while a lot of cancer patients continue to die using the unsuccessful healing options of profit first based businesses. I am not suggesting to people that what I know is the answer. I am telling them. I guess what I am asking at this point is ... how much longer will my story be ignored? Haven't I not endured enough pain in my life? What is holding me back? How much longer will money come before healing people? How many more naive , innocent , and hopeful cancer patients have to die before anything changes? How many more whistle blowers have to die before the masses collectively stand up and fight for what we all know to be true? What do I have to do to be validated? What else do I have to do for my cause to get the attention that it deserves , and for the entire world to change? I can endure the mental pain of being ignored. I am going to continue to be patient ... and not do anything to compromise myself , the cause , or warrant negative attention. Hopefully my cause will get the attention that it deserves ... soon. Below is an updated conceptualization of the cure to all cancer. 

...

Cancer consultation example:

6/19/19 3:36 pm

The cure to cancer is all about externalizing dirty water ... or dirty emotion from the body. Your daughter either inherited emotion that her young mind is afraid to face , and / or collectively experienced trauma in her life that her mind is afraid to face. For example ... hypothetically speaking ... she could have watched a movie about dragons before bed one night. That night before bed she could have thought that a real dragon was really under her bed. Now as adults , our developed minds know that the dragon under her bed is not real. Now the mind of your adolescent daughter DEFINITELY 😵😱🤒 thinks that dragon under the bed is real. Now since she is a child and she is afraid to face that dragon, her mind buries that fear. Burying fear takes energy. In medical terminology , a buried fear is called a psychosomatic symptom. You can Google and fact check everything I write in my books, and here. The more scary thoughts or psychosomatic symptoms that our minds are afraid to face ... the more energy it takes for our minds to continuously hold in those thoughts ... resulting in less energy that we have to face the world and live in the present with. In short ... your daughter needs to externalize emotion. Now ... think about WHAT your daughter is. She started out as a piece of sperm from her father. Sperm is light trapped in water. The light is information. Water is emotion that is effected by her consciousness ... which is information ... or "her" light. YouTube DR. EMOTO and his research on water for the conceptualization of that fact. In laymen's terms ... her father inserted information and emotion into you as her mother through either sexual intercourse or artificial incimination. Some of those emotions could be suppressions. It would literally depend on what he is thinking about during intercourse or ejaculation. Now after conception ... that piece of sperm ... or information and emotion ... is molding with your information and emotion ... through the umbilical cord , your mind , and your heart. Now if you as her mother were suppressing emotion that you were afraid to face during your 9 month pregnancy ... you would transfer that dirty water ... or dirty emotion  ... to your child.Thats means your child ... and every child EVER ... was born with a baseline level of dirty water ... or suppressed emotion ... because most men and / or women suppress emotion at some level during either sex , while ejaculating, or while pregnant. A high level of collective suppressions would result in a baby being born with leukemia ... or cancer in the blood ... or with dis-ease within all of the emotions or chakras ... if enough dirty water is detected in the body of a baby at birth. Now if one specific emotion is being suppressed by the mother ... that emotion will be filtered to the part of the body that correlates with the chakra of the corresponding emotion. So to further the example ... if the mother of a child developed a fear of money ... dirty water ... which is emotion effected by consciousness ... would be transferred to the fetus in the womb from the mother through the umbilical cord into the "soul" or stomach of the baby. That emotion will then get filtered through the spine to be accessed by the pineal gland of the fetus ... then to the corresponding chakra of the emotion that the FETUS felt ... which in the money example would be the root chakra. That is ONE REASON why a baby would be born with ovarian cancer. Now the emotion of the fetus was DEFINITELY effected by the emotion of the mother ... because the mother and fetus share the same "soul" via the umbilical chord , and perception ... to an extent via shared felt emotions. That is why family members look a alike and think alike. They share water, and emotion. The difference would be the degree. Think weather , water , and light. Long story short ... your daughter is water and light. Her water needs to be purified. In order to do that , her dirty water ... or cancer ... needs to be drained. Again ... water holds emotion that is effected by consciousness. What that means is her light / third eye  /pineal gland consciousness ... is going to eventually see that dirty emotion dirty water with her light / awareness / perception ... and it is going to be dramatic. The cure to cancer has deep effects on relationships , because it reveals truth. Now ... how do you drain a human? With plants. If you put a plant in your daughter , it will absorb water ... and emotion. Your daughter will then have to externalize that plant , dirty water , and dirty emotion via tears, words, urine, and bowel movements. Plants on trees complete photosynthesis on the earth every day. If your daughter puts medical marijuana in her body ... it will have a psychoactive effect on her mind ... and her young mind will see her inherited trauma, her real trauma, and her self induced trauma. She will then need to externalize her psychosomatic symptoms via means of self expression , tears , words , urine , and bowel movements. Again ... water holds emotion that is effected by consciousness. If her consciousness / light / awareness / perception / third eye does not access that suppressed emotion ... or dirty water ... that suppressed emotion will result in a cancer tumor ... or a dirty piece of ice. Modern medicine does the exact opposite of medical marijuana. It attempts to sedate emotion and keep tumors in the body with side effects that patients can live with. It doesn't try to melt the ice. Life long patients assure lifelong business and lifelong money for a small few. I will stop there for now. Can you understand the correlations? If not , let your doctor , a psychiatrist, or psychologist read this. They can do the correlations , because this is their language. Then implement those procedures on your daughter immediately.

I wish you and her the best 🖤

-Kyle J. Kostic

6/12/19

Random honest thoughts during my daughters 8th grade graduation:

I am thinking about how while most people think that money is the root of all evil ... I think that creating systems that warrant receiving titles, attention, and achievements ... but also lead to unconscious motivation to perpetuate systems that do not benefit the masses for money and attention ... is even more evil.

I am thinking about operation paperclip, education, psychology, Nazi's, NASA, Wernher von Braun, his legacy, his tombstone, space, water, ice, the sun, the moon, the black sun, the North Star, the Swastika, Egypt, the pyramids, the Sphynx, gods, dogs, noses, eyes, lies, suppressions, energy, decpetion, confessions, the Bible, religious texts, scripture, culture, society, social hierarchy, language, music, the media, television, inverted truth, misled purity, false prophets, false preachers, false teachers, false healers, false leaders, false paths, fake love, fake laughs, fake smiles, fake success, fake wealth, and fake health. 

I am also thinking about true lies, true truth, true wealth, true health, true success, true smiles, true laughs, and true, true love.

I am thinking about how the Black girl and the Dominican girl who are performing are trying so hard , struggling , and failing to sing some z100 song at this assembly. I am internally laughing at the fake off beat non soulful claps from certain staff members. I am thinking about how awfully boring this is. I am thinking about watering plants, and I don't even have a garden. I am thinking about how lit this assembly would have been if the students sang to Cardi B. Everyone knows all of the words to all of her songs.

I am thinking about how the guest speaker at this assembly is a pure, kind, and good man with pure intentions. I am thinking about how we have a 30+ year relationship, and he is my friend.

I am thinking about how I would not post my feelings about a fake wedding on social media.

I am thinking about all of the attention that I am intentionally ignoring right now.

I am thinking about all of the people who are intentionally ignoring me right now.

I am thinking about how I was once a commencement speaker at a high school graduation, due to the fact the my book was used as part of student curriculum. I am thinking about how 4 books later, nobody knows who I am.

I am thinking about first world money in third world culture.

I am thinking about how the majority of minority students do not aspire to be like the majority of their leaders. The majority of child students who participate and are successful in these systems are so because they think being successful in these systems is a secure way to obtain money in this society. They are right. Majority leaders are smart enough to understand the influence of minority leaders and the influence that money has on everything else ... so majority leaders intentionally groom , indoctrinate, miseducate, and reward the best minority leaders with money and attention to perpetuate systems that do not benefit the masses ... especially systems that leave the remaining minorities at the bottom of the social hierarchy.

I am thinking about how I am embarrassed for the administration on stage at this assembly due to the fact that they know the performers, students, audience, janitors, and even themselves aren't into the second G - rated politically correct student musical performance of this assembly.

I am thinking about how the students literally boo'd the principal back to his seat and refused to hear his closing story, because this 2 hour assembly has been so boring, he is wack, and everyone just really wants to get out of here. I am thinking about how he conceptualized his speech by saying, "Go to college ... it is a sure way to get a job and make money."

I am thinking about South America, Africa, and Asia. 

I am thinking about Los Angeles, and Allentown.

I am thinking about how the youth of the future and the truth of forever are going to eventually outlive oppressive systems of the present and individualistic ideals of the past.

I am thinking about lunch.

6/12/19